oh well...i guess we all have 'em, but this weekend was a hard one with Henry. Not that he was doing anything other than normal, but it's just getting so frustrating watching him spend every free second of his time either stimming out on books or asking to use the computer - anything to avoid interaction with us. especially now that we understand what a form of "escape" it is and how he is doing these things to feel "ok" - why can't he feel ok with us??
in terms of activities, this weekend wasn't so bad. Sat. morning i took Henry to get some paint for the bathroom renovation. i thought he would like to see how they blend the colors and mix the can...unfortunately it wasn't as visible as i'd hoped it'd be. however, we did use the outing for a lot of RDI-like activities - experience sharing, he helped me carry the paint can (we did it together) etc. And I involved him in all the regular weekend activities like laundry and dishes etc. We even played in the pool a bit outside in the front yard and did a game with pouring.
however, i just get so frustrated sometimes. it seems like we're working so hard with him and just making these baby steps. at times, aaron and i just want to box up all his books and unplug the computer and eliminate all his ability to stim and avoid us. but i know that's not only cruel b/c he needs these things to feel ok (for now) but also, he would probably just find some other more inappropriate thing to get lost in. every time i go down this track i feel bad, b/c as hard as it is for us, it's probably about 10x harder for Henry. i mean, it took the poor kid about 15 minutes to try to tell me he wanted to go to the library on friday...and he was so happy when i finally understood him - it literally made his day.
so, sunday i spent most of the day painting, which i couldn't really involve Henry in, so Aaron took the lead for most of the day. we did a few small things together, like walk down to grandmas and drive to aunt shanons together - but not much for formal activities, i was just not into it. anyway, i'm sure tomorrow will bring a new day and a better attitude....and i hope that soon we will see those changes in Henry that will help us (and him) stay motivated to work hard and know that we are doing the right thing here.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The First Webinar
Hi Missy - just wanted to let you know we were able to sign on to Gutstein's webinar last night, and i even asked a question! they were definitely still working out the kinks of the system, but i think it should be a good resource for parent training in the future. Dr. G provided us all with an "abridged" version of all the parent goals, so i was able to look through them a bit (not completely though)...i guess we have a long way to go still in our training...let alone Henry's.
In other news, had a nice evening with Henry tonight. For our lab time, we did an activity around the laundry...something really simple and short.....where he helps me put the wash in the washing machine, and we pour the detergent together - he holds the cup, i pour in the cup, and then he pours in the machine...and then he helps me put the clothes in - i hand him the clothes and he dumps em in. he seems to really like this, but i'm going to have to get creative with inserting productive uncertainty.
also, we all had a dance 1/2 hour before bed tonight, where we play music and jump and dance on the bed together...me, hank and rose. it's really fun and henry even made a request for a song he likes. i haven't really incorporated any RDI into that activity yet, but i bet i could - maybe Obj 3...i didn't even think of it! ok, signing off for now.
In other news, had a nice evening with Henry tonight. For our lab time, we did an activity around the laundry...something really simple and short.....where he helps me put the wash in the washing machine, and we pour the detergent together - he holds the cup, i pour in the cup, and then he pours in the machine...and then he helps me put the clothes in - i hand him the clothes and he dumps em in. he seems to really like this, but i'm going to have to get creative with inserting productive uncertainty.
also, we all had a dance 1/2 hour before bed tonight, where we play music and jump and dance on the bed together...me, hank and rose. it's really fun and henry even made a request for a song he likes. i haven't really incorporated any RDI into that activity yet, but i bet i could - maybe Obj 3...i didn't even think of it! ok, signing off for now.
Aaron's Notes - 8/22
Henry and I worked on objective 4 this morning. I think I got it. We hung out for maybe 4-5 minutes in the activity room. We started out on chairs. Henry immediately pointed out something he wanted on the shelf (i think it was one of his cds) and I just shook my head 'no' and did my best to keep smiling. He eventually gave up on asking and got up and laid down on the bean bags. I followed him over and laid down. He played with my fingers for a little while, but not wanting him to use me as a tool, I would put his hand back toward him, doing my best to maintain a smile. Later, he went to pinch me and said 'don't pinch' and I nodded and place his hands back to him. I think he was trying to connect with me with the pinching - because that's something he knows I'm familiar with him doing. Otherwise, he didn't really make any other eye contact but he knew I was there. After about 5 minutes, I got up and he followed me out. I'll try again tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Aaron's Notes - 8/20
On Sunday we had some time together and I tried objective 4 again. We were on the couch, the tv was off and Henry pretty much just wallowed me to death - rolling around on me, playing with my face, but I put no demands on him. At one point, I played dead for a long time. He continued to roll around on me for the first couple minutes but eventually he grabbed my face then tried to open my eyes with his fingers. I took this as a positive. At least he noticed and, as far as I could tell, wanted me to be alive around him.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Aaron's notes - questions: objective 4
In the evenings, Henry is especially spazzy and it's nearly impossible to connect with him when he's like that. I thought these times would be a good opportunity to use objective 4 - I'm kinda stuck with this one so I have some questions about how it should be implemented.
Henry likes to look at books and usually bounces or rolls around on the couch or bed, visually stemming, turning the took to the side, upside down. So the question is, am I supposed to take the book away and try to get him to calm down, like, physically restrain him, or do I just sit by him and watch him tweak out? He rarely just sits down and chills out unless he's watching tv or doing a puzzle or something... so do I just try to sit with him when he's calm?
This objective is proving to be more difficult that I thought.
Henry likes to look at books and usually bounces or rolls around on the couch or bed, visually stemming, turning the took to the side, upside down. So the question is, am I supposed to take the book away and try to get him to calm down, like, physically restrain him, or do I just sit by him and watch him tweak out? He rarely just sits down and chills out unless he's watching tv or doing a puzzle or something... so do I just try to sit with him when he's calm?
This objective is proving to be more difficult that I thought.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
a busy time
these past few days have been quite busy, just the typical weekday schedule, i guess, but i'll try to touch on a few things we've done RDI-related. Tuesday was rough, because when i went to pick up the kids at the sitter's, she told me that Henry cried for an hour when he got off the bus and she couldn't figure out why. He also won't eat any food at her house but apple sauce for the past three days. so....who knows? i have no idea why he is doing this, and of course he can't tell me. so, for now i ignore it. what else can i do...the kid won't starve. that night, Rose was in rare form and basically took all my attention, so my only "activity" was objective four...sitting with henry doing nothing. i think at some point we both fell asleep.
yesterday, we had dinner at my mom's, so that was something a little off schedule. Henry adapted to the change very well, and we did a bit of "walking activity" as we walked to her house. One thing i've been trying to do a lot lately is give indirect prompts. he probably gets them about 20% of the time, which is frustrating, probably for both of us. i try to scaffold them by long pauses and then giving him the direct prompt after a few tries. i really don't think he is "thinking" about what i'm saying most of the time. maybe that's my fault for using too much talking a lot of the time. but i try to incorporate them into for instance the walking activity...when i say "boy, you're walking too fast for me."...Henry, we can't walk that quick...finally, Henry, wait for us.
tonight, our planned activity was making brownies again...this time for his last day of school to give to the teachers. i taped it, and he did pretty well. we had a lot of emotion-sharing and he seemed really into it - knew just what to do - and even stayed with me all the way through his role in part of the "clean-up". he even grabbed the spoon to stir without my prompt! we stirred together for a bit too. we had a few unexpected challenges, like when he accidentally dropped the small bowl into the big one on one of the dumps. I tried very hard to make sure he didn't feel like this was a "mistake" and then want to withdraw from the activity, so i just laughed and said "boy, that was sure heavy." he picked it up and out and we continued on - i felt like it was a good example of some serious "productive uncertainty" that he was able to weather. we'll see how it looks on video, but i was impressed and i think it helped his confidence.
yesterday, we had dinner at my mom's, so that was something a little off schedule. Henry adapted to the change very well, and we did a bit of "walking activity" as we walked to her house. One thing i've been trying to do a lot lately is give indirect prompts. he probably gets them about 20% of the time, which is frustrating, probably for both of us. i try to scaffold them by long pauses and then giving him the direct prompt after a few tries. i really don't think he is "thinking" about what i'm saying most of the time. maybe that's my fault for using too much talking a lot of the time. but i try to incorporate them into for instance the walking activity...when i say "boy, you're walking too fast for me."...Henry, we can't walk that quick...finally, Henry, wait for us.
tonight, our planned activity was making brownies again...this time for his last day of school to give to the teachers. i taped it, and he did pretty well. we had a lot of emotion-sharing and he seemed really into it - knew just what to do - and even stayed with me all the way through his role in part of the "clean-up". he even grabbed the spoon to stir without my prompt! we stirred together for a bit too. we had a few unexpected challenges, like when he accidentally dropped the small bowl into the big one on one of the dumps. I tried very hard to make sure he didn't feel like this was a "mistake" and then want to withdraw from the activity, so i just laughed and said "boy, that was sure heavy." he picked it up and out and we continued on - i felt like it was a good example of some serious "productive uncertainty" that he was able to weather. we'll see how it looks on video, but i was impressed and i think it helped his confidence.
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