Hi all. We are officially moving our blogging onto the new RDI OS system. In reality, though, we are doing less blogging overall because we now meet with our consultant on a weekly basis - this has been a wonderful change!
However, never fear, we will still be posting our video reviews up on youtube to share with other parents - though there will likely be fewer of those as well. Check out our youtube under the name "fatakw" or type in RDI as a search term and you will find us!
Showing posts with label Theresa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Theresa. Show all posts
Monday, February 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
On Hiatus
In case anyone was wondering where we are, we have been taking a break since late October in light of the arrival of Henry's little bro, Cyrus, and the craziness of the holidays. We hope to be back up to posting and videoing in the new year, as soon as we can find a new RDI consultant to work with - check back later.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
RCR Struggles and interesting thoughts from the webinar
i've been meaning to write all weekend, and now it's wed night and i'm finally getting around to it...aggh, life gets so busy.
I've been working various RCR activities with Henry all weekend and this week. We averaged about 10 a day over the weekend, but probably just two or three per day during the week. they ranged from anything from throwing acorns together to putting the dog treats in the container together. I tried to do the non-verbal inviting thing with many of them to get started, but that didn't really work - henry mostly ignored me until i asked him to come participate.
he would try to participate and he especially likes it when i add in funny sound effects, like a big karate chop "high-ya" and then we throw something somewhere together. however, we're not really getting a rhythm with this at all. he doesn't seem to be able to self regulate so we throw at the same time, and i can't do all the repair work for him. oftentimes i have to revert back to a 1-2-3-throw a few times before he starts to get it, or i do hand over hand a few times. but most of our activities do not last longer than 3-5 minutes, so it seems like he's never really "getting" it. i will keep on plugging away though. any advice?
also, attended the parent webinar last night and Gutstein, as always, had some good advice and stuff to work on. Basically the majority of the hour talked about transfer of responsibility - one of the things i found interesting was Gutstein telling parents to be sure not to allow the kid to take a passive role in the activity (a good example he gave was carrying a bag together, where when the kid lets go, you pick up the slack instead of letting if fall. i do that for sure!) so i'm trying to be mindful of when i might be "scaffolding" too much and allowing henry to take a passive role in our interactions, whatever they may be.
Gutstein also talked about having a short, 1-3 word thought to describe the objective that you are working on and carrying it with you throughout the day, being mindful of incorporating it if you can into every interaction with your kid til it becomes second-nature. My thought for now is "don't talk-use non-verbal"
also, another little anecdote and then i'll wrap up here. henry has discovered where the books are locked up in the "activity room". yesterday he indicated that he wanted to "jump on the bed", which i was psyched about b/c that was an activity that we had done together the previous day with Rosie and had a really good time playing and laughing together. of course, i said, lets go upstairs and jump and he said "no, here"...he wanted to enter the activity room. so i suspected something was up, when i let him in he went straight for the books. then he says "i love books". i said "henry, you told mommy you wanted to jump on the bed" and he attempted one pathetic jump to try to please me and then stared over at the books. i went ahead and let him have his fix, the poor kid. Never let them tell you that an autistic kid can't manipulate or won't lie - he played that one just right!
I've been working various RCR activities with Henry all weekend and this week. We averaged about 10 a day over the weekend, but probably just two or three per day during the week. they ranged from anything from throwing acorns together to putting the dog treats in the container together. I tried to do the non-verbal inviting thing with many of them to get started, but that didn't really work - henry mostly ignored me until i asked him to come participate.
he would try to participate and he especially likes it when i add in funny sound effects, like a big karate chop "high-ya" and then we throw something somewhere together. however, we're not really getting a rhythm with this at all. he doesn't seem to be able to self regulate so we throw at the same time, and i can't do all the repair work for him. oftentimes i have to revert back to a 1-2-3-throw a few times before he starts to get it, or i do hand over hand a few times. but most of our activities do not last longer than 3-5 minutes, so it seems like he's never really "getting" it. i will keep on plugging away though. any advice?
also, attended the parent webinar last night and Gutstein, as always, had some good advice and stuff to work on. Basically the majority of the hour talked about transfer of responsibility - one of the things i found interesting was Gutstein telling parents to be sure not to allow the kid to take a passive role in the activity (a good example he gave was carrying a bag together, where when the kid lets go, you pick up the slack instead of letting if fall. i do that for sure!) so i'm trying to be mindful of when i might be "scaffolding" too much and allowing henry to take a passive role in our interactions, whatever they may be.
Gutstein also talked about having a short, 1-3 word thought to describe the objective that you are working on and carrying it with you throughout the day, being mindful of incorporating it if you can into every interaction with your kid til it becomes second-nature. My thought for now is "don't talk-use non-verbal"
also, another little anecdote and then i'll wrap up here. henry has discovered where the books are locked up in the "activity room". yesterday he indicated that he wanted to "jump on the bed", which i was psyched about b/c that was an activity that we had done together the previous day with Rosie and had a really good time playing and laughing together. of course, i said, lets go upstairs and jump and he said "no, here"...he wanted to enter the activity room. so i suspected something was up, when i let him in he went straight for the books. then he says "i love books". i said "henry, you told mommy you wanted to jump on the bed" and he attempted one pathetic jump to try to please me and then stared over at the books. i went ahead and let him have his fix, the poor kid. Never let them tell you that an autistic kid can't manipulate or won't lie - he played that one just right!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
The weekend and finding fun games
Well, this weekend without the books went really well - despite the added craziness of having houseguests, we were able to do lot of things with Henry. Saturday, we did a lot of time in the yard, playing with balls and on the swing and on the bike. no pressure - we just had fun with it b/c aaron's family was visiting and it was relaxed (no videos to do :). Sunday, Aaron headed up to the dover race with the fam, so i had the kids to myself all day. It went very well. I filmed a few things, which you will see on tues, but mostly it was just Hen, Rose and i hangin out. I got some alone time w/Henry when i took him to gymnastics class - lots of good opportunity for RDI throughout the class....especially use of non-verbals for transitions - like holding my hand out, or using eye gaze on where he should go and what to do next. and he paid attention pretty well.
We also went to the store after the class and he picked out a b-day cake for Poppy (his great grandpa). we went back to my mom's and had an early dinner and the cake for Pop - Hen helped put in the candles and then blow them out - he was a role-player in the whole process, which was great and really made him feel good about himself - he was just extra smiley today and in tune. I think he liked having that alone time with mom - i need to try to schedule that in on a weekly basis if i can - aaron has mentioned he could come home early one night a week - that might work well.
Proximity, patience, and limiting words was my mantra for this weekend and i think it worked well - hen seemed on a much more even keel. i watched the video you sent - actually i had already seen it from the site, but i think it was a great example of setting a welcoming environment - i'm going to have aaron watch it tomorrow.
Oh, so my three activities that i think Henry would enjoy are playing on the musical instruments, anything to do with the swingset and yard (maybe even a Dora the Explorer type scavenger hunt, we were having fun with things like that this weekend.) and building with this magnetic ball erector set. i think as time goes on i'll have more - eliminating the books (or at least limiting the time with them to about 15 min a day, as well as 15 min of computer) has opened up a lot of new options.
We also went to the store after the class and he picked out a b-day cake for Poppy (his great grandpa). we went back to my mom's and had an early dinner and the cake for Pop - Hen helped put in the candles and then blow them out - he was a role-player in the whole process, which was great and really made him feel good about himself - he was just extra smiley today and in tune. I think he liked having that alone time with mom - i need to try to schedule that in on a weekly basis if i can - aaron has mentioned he could come home early one night a week - that might work well.
Proximity, patience, and limiting words was my mantra for this weekend and i think it worked well - hen seemed on a much more even keel. i watched the video you sent - actually i had already seen it from the site, but i think it was a great example of setting a welcoming environment - i'm going to have aaron watch it tomorrow.
Oh, so my three activities that i think Henry would enjoy are playing on the musical instruments, anything to do with the swingset and yard (maybe even a Dora the Explorer type scavenger hunt, we were having fun with things like that this weekend.) and building with this magnetic ball erector set. i think as time goes on i'll have more - eliminating the books (or at least limiting the time with them to about 15 min a day, as well as 15 min of computer) has opened up a lot of new options.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Lots of Interaction tonight
wow...maybe putting away the books was good idea. Henry did really well tonight with no distractions. He actually stayed in the room for a long time with Rosie and me - we sang lots of songs, played musical instruments, played a bit with the plastic food. He didn't do any puzzles. I did give him about 15 minutes of computer time while i made dinner, but otherwise he was very much around. I think this is going to really help us find those "play" type of things we are looking for to incorporate into RDI activities. I'll keep you posted how it goes for the rest of the week.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Playtime!
well, like we spoke about on the phone, i spent most of the weekend and today seeking out and testing some fun play activities to do with henry so that the majority of our RDI work doesn't involve housework - poor kid, he was working harder than any five year old i know doing laundry, dishes, cooking and watering plants. ha! however, it has been difficult to find play activities as you know that he likes and that i can involve myself in...especially since the majority of his favorite pastimes, like reading and playing on the computer, are such solo activities. As i mentioned on the phone, i've tried to insert myself into a few of his favorite computer games and that seems to be working well....except that they can be very distracting so it's hard to get him to reference me. we also did some hanging out in the bean bag room, but my creativity was pretty low during that time so we ended up just hanging.
tonight, i scored bigtime by starting up a quick game of hide and seek (really i was trying to get hank and rosie to hold off on wanting dinner til 5, so i had 1/2 hr to kill). The game was basic in that i would go hide while they counted to ten, then i would periodically say "where's mommy?" until they started to determine which room i was in and where i was. I really couldn't believe that henry played along like he did - i think i hid like 6-7 different times and there was a lot of great "anticipation" and emotion-sharing in the game - and of course big tickles when they found me. hen was even able to wait and count to ten to give me a chance to hide - i hate to say but i think he and rosie are about on the same level with this game. interestingly enough, the game ended when rosie found me before he did....he didn't like that one bit!
as i mentioned, i did a bit of taping this weekend working on objectives 5 and 6. tonight, after rosie went to bed (and b/c my throat is sore) i decided to do the mommy's lost her voice game. we didn't have a lot of activities that we HAD to do - just to brush teeth, put on pjs, click off the light, etc...but i was able to get a lot of non-verbal back and forth with henry to do them. he also read ME a story before bed...and would check in with me as the story progressed to occasionally see my response to something or an indication that he was on the right track....it's amazing when you shut up what happens! one interesting note on that though is how henry would be able to say some of the story verbatim and then other parts he would just fill in with blahblahblah...i wonder if that's what he's unable to process when i read the story to him??? weird.
we got the RCR stuff and i'll probably read through it tonight. yesterday i finally applied for that scholarship you gave us the info on, so we'll see where that goes. i'll let you know.
tonight, i scored bigtime by starting up a quick game of hide and seek (really i was trying to get hank and rosie to hold off on wanting dinner til 5, so i had 1/2 hr to kill). The game was basic in that i would go hide while they counted to ten, then i would periodically say "where's mommy?" until they started to determine which room i was in and where i was. I really couldn't believe that henry played along like he did - i think i hid like 6-7 different times and there was a lot of great "anticipation" and emotion-sharing in the game - and of course big tickles when they found me. hen was even able to wait and count to ten to give me a chance to hide - i hate to say but i think he and rosie are about on the same level with this game. interestingly enough, the game ended when rosie found me before he did....he didn't like that one bit!
as i mentioned, i did a bit of taping this weekend working on objectives 5 and 6. tonight, after rosie went to bed (and b/c my throat is sore) i decided to do the mommy's lost her voice game. we didn't have a lot of activities that we HAD to do - just to brush teeth, put on pjs, click off the light, etc...but i was able to get a lot of non-verbal back and forth with henry to do them. he also read ME a story before bed...and would check in with me as the story progressed to occasionally see my response to something or an indication that he was on the right track....it's amazing when you shut up what happens! one interesting note on that though is how henry would be able to say some of the story verbatim and then other parts he would just fill in with blahblahblah...i wonder if that's what he's unable to process when i read the story to him??? weird.
we got the RCR stuff and i'll probably read through it tonight. yesterday i finally applied for that scholarship you gave us the info on, so we'll see where that goes. i'll let you know.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
a discouraging weekend
oh well...i guess we all have 'em, but this weekend was a hard one with Henry. Not that he was doing anything other than normal, but it's just getting so frustrating watching him spend every free second of his time either stimming out on books or asking to use the computer - anything to avoid interaction with us. especially now that we understand what a form of "escape" it is and how he is doing these things to feel "ok" - why can't he feel ok with us??
in terms of activities, this weekend wasn't so bad. Sat. morning i took Henry to get some paint for the bathroom renovation. i thought he would like to see how they blend the colors and mix the can...unfortunately it wasn't as visible as i'd hoped it'd be. however, we did use the outing for a lot of RDI-like activities - experience sharing, he helped me carry the paint can (we did it together) etc. And I involved him in all the regular weekend activities like laundry and dishes etc. We even played in the pool a bit outside in the front yard and did a game with pouring.
however, i just get so frustrated sometimes. it seems like we're working so hard with him and just making these baby steps. at times, aaron and i just want to box up all his books and unplug the computer and eliminate all his ability to stim and avoid us. but i know that's not only cruel b/c he needs these things to feel ok (for now) but also, he would probably just find some other more inappropriate thing to get lost in. every time i go down this track i feel bad, b/c as hard as it is for us, it's probably about 10x harder for Henry. i mean, it took the poor kid about 15 minutes to try to tell me he wanted to go to the library on friday...and he was so happy when i finally understood him - it literally made his day.
so, sunday i spent most of the day painting, which i couldn't really involve Henry in, so Aaron took the lead for most of the day. we did a few small things together, like walk down to grandmas and drive to aunt shanons together - but not much for formal activities, i was just not into it. anyway, i'm sure tomorrow will bring a new day and a better attitude....and i hope that soon we will see those changes in Henry that will help us (and him) stay motivated to work hard and know that we are doing the right thing here.
in terms of activities, this weekend wasn't so bad. Sat. morning i took Henry to get some paint for the bathroom renovation. i thought he would like to see how they blend the colors and mix the can...unfortunately it wasn't as visible as i'd hoped it'd be. however, we did use the outing for a lot of RDI-like activities - experience sharing, he helped me carry the paint can (we did it together) etc. And I involved him in all the regular weekend activities like laundry and dishes etc. We even played in the pool a bit outside in the front yard and did a game with pouring.
however, i just get so frustrated sometimes. it seems like we're working so hard with him and just making these baby steps. at times, aaron and i just want to box up all his books and unplug the computer and eliminate all his ability to stim and avoid us. but i know that's not only cruel b/c he needs these things to feel ok (for now) but also, he would probably just find some other more inappropriate thing to get lost in. every time i go down this track i feel bad, b/c as hard as it is for us, it's probably about 10x harder for Henry. i mean, it took the poor kid about 15 minutes to try to tell me he wanted to go to the library on friday...and he was so happy when i finally understood him - it literally made his day.
so, sunday i spent most of the day painting, which i couldn't really involve Henry in, so Aaron took the lead for most of the day. we did a few small things together, like walk down to grandmas and drive to aunt shanons together - but not much for formal activities, i was just not into it. anyway, i'm sure tomorrow will bring a new day and a better attitude....and i hope that soon we will see those changes in Henry that will help us (and him) stay motivated to work hard and know that we are doing the right thing here.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The First Webinar
Hi Missy - just wanted to let you know we were able to sign on to Gutstein's webinar last night, and i even asked a question! they were definitely still working out the kinks of the system, but i think it should be a good resource for parent training in the future. Dr. G provided us all with an "abridged" version of all the parent goals, so i was able to look through them a bit (not completely though)...i guess we have a long way to go still in our training...let alone Henry's.
In other news, had a nice evening with Henry tonight. For our lab time, we did an activity around the laundry...something really simple and short.....where he helps me put the wash in the washing machine, and we pour the detergent together - he holds the cup, i pour in the cup, and then he pours in the machine...and then he helps me put the clothes in - i hand him the clothes and he dumps em in. he seems to really like this, but i'm going to have to get creative with inserting productive uncertainty.
also, we all had a dance 1/2 hour before bed tonight, where we play music and jump and dance on the bed together...me, hank and rose. it's really fun and henry even made a request for a song he likes. i haven't really incorporated any RDI into that activity yet, but i bet i could - maybe Obj 3...i didn't even think of it! ok, signing off for now.
In other news, had a nice evening with Henry tonight. For our lab time, we did an activity around the laundry...something really simple and short.....where he helps me put the wash in the washing machine, and we pour the detergent together - he holds the cup, i pour in the cup, and then he pours in the machine...and then he helps me put the clothes in - i hand him the clothes and he dumps em in. he seems to really like this, but i'm going to have to get creative with inserting productive uncertainty.
also, we all had a dance 1/2 hour before bed tonight, where we play music and jump and dance on the bed together...me, hank and rose. it's really fun and henry even made a request for a song he likes. i haven't really incorporated any RDI into that activity yet, but i bet i could - maybe Obj 3...i didn't even think of it! ok, signing off for now.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
a busy time
these past few days have been quite busy, just the typical weekday schedule, i guess, but i'll try to touch on a few things we've done RDI-related. Tuesday was rough, because when i went to pick up the kids at the sitter's, she told me that Henry cried for an hour when he got off the bus and she couldn't figure out why. He also won't eat any food at her house but apple sauce for the past three days. so....who knows? i have no idea why he is doing this, and of course he can't tell me. so, for now i ignore it. what else can i do...the kid won't starve. that night, Rose was in rare form and basically took all my attention, so my only "activity" was objective four...sitting with henry doing nothing. i think at some point we both fell asleep.
yesterday, we had dinner at my mom's, so that was something a little off schedule. Henry adapted to the change very well, and we did a bit of "walking activity" as we walked to her house. One thing i've been trying to do a lot lately is give indirect prompts. he probably gets them about 20% of the time, which is frustrating, probably for both of us. i try to scaffold them by long pauses and then giving him the direct prompt after a few tries. i really don't think he is "thinking" about what i'm saying most of the time. maybe that's my fault for using too much talking a lot of the time. but i try to incorporate them into for instance the walking activity...when i say "boy, you're walking too fast for me."...Henry, we can't walk that quick...finally, Henry, wait for us.
tonight, our planned activity was making brownies again...this time for his last day of school to give to the teachers. i taped it, and he did pretty well. we had a lot of emotion-sharing and he seemed really into it - knew just what to do - and even stayed with me all the way through his role in part of the "clean-up". he even grabbed the spoon to stir without my prompt! we stirred together for a bit too. we had a few unexpected challenges, like when he accidentally dropped the small bowl into the big one on one of the dumps. I tried very hard to make sure he didn't feel like this was a "mistake" and then want to withdraw from the activity, so i just laughed and said "boy, that was sure heavy." he picked it up and out and we continued on - i felt like it was a good example of some serious "productive uncertainty" that he was able to weather. we'll see how it looks on video, but i was impressed and i think it helped his confidence.
yesterday, we had dinner at my mom's, so that was something a little off schedule. Henry adapted to the change very well, and we did a bit of "walking activity" as we walked to her house. One thing i've been trying to do a lot lately is give indirect prompts. he probably gets them about 20% of the time, which is frustrating, probably for both of us. i try to scaffold them by long pauses and then giving him the direct prompt after a few tries. i really don't think he is "thinking" about what i'm saying most of the time. maybe that's my fault for using too much talking a lot of the time. but i try to incorporate them into for instance the walking activity...when i say "boy, you're walking too fast for me."...Henry, we can't walk that quick...finally, Henry, wait for us.
tonight, our planned activity was making brownies again...this time for his last day of school to give to the teachers. i taped it, and he did pretty well. we had a lot of emotion-sharing and he seemed really into it - knew just what to do - and even stayed with me all the way through his role in part of the "clean-up". he even grabbed the spoon to stir without my prompt! we stirred together for a bit too. we had a few unexpected challenges, like when he accidentally dropped the small bowl into the big one on one of the dumps. I tried very hard to make sure he didn't feel like this was a "mistake" and then want to withdraw from the activity, so i just laughed and said "boy, that was sure heavy." he picked it up and out and we continued on - i felt like it was a good example of some serious "productive uncertainty" that he was able to weather. we'll see how it looks on video, but i was impressed and i think it helped his confidence.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Finding 5 minutes to Ponder
Well, i'm back to writing on the blog and this time i really mean it! Keeping in mind our first parent objective, both aaron and i have been trying to find 5 minutes a day to ponder what we are working on with Henry. so far, so good for the past two days.
For objective one, i've been trying to be sure we have at least 1 "lab activity" a day. yesterday, we baked brownies, so similar to the activity we did during the home visit, we used a little red bowl and henry knew his role right away. however, the challenge did come in keeping his interest. actually, i think i presented a challenge that was too great - i had us stirring with the spoon with our hands together and i was going to change up speeds, etc. but henry wanted no part of it, so i just let him leave and thanked him for helping me...basically b/c i really needed to get the brownies cooked before we went to a bbq. i know, i know....rushing is the worst thing for rdi, but that's life sometimes. so much for objective 2 this time.
today's lab exercise was to water the flowers (heck we could do it everyday, given how hot it's been) . henry did ok, but was really just going through the motions, so it was hard for me to add a lot of variation. i think we should probably let this activity rest for awhile and maybe do it just once a week or so. anyway, one challenge was that mid-activity, rosie had stepped in mud and i asked him to spray her feet off. well, let's just say she got doused and was not in the mood! so crying ensued, and the activity ended pretty soon after that - though we did get through all the plants, the mood was definitely dampened (no pun intended ;)
objective four has been the easiest for me so far. spending time with Hank just hangin is not hard at all....though what happens is that he inevitably attempts to get me to do something...like read him a book. am i just being a tool for his wants? i don't know if that is really making a "connection" or even if i should be responding to him, though my gut says yes. so we ended up reading a book one time. another time he just ignored me the whole time and then left. but sitting around in his room doing and saying nothing has been fine. i will wait for a moment of "henry freak-out" and see if i can video the outcome on that.
one activity that i am going to add to the repertoire is henry helping me carry the laundry basket - upstairs, downstairs, whatever...i could use the help and i think it helps us with coordination. i'm also trying to get something framed related to putting his clothes away...like i put piles on his bed and then eye reference him for the one to pick up...then i open the drawer...then he drops the clothes in...then i close the drawer...then back to the next pile. hey - i hate to do all the "chore" things, but they've got to get done and that's the type of stuff that takes me away from spending time with Henry, especially in the evenings after work. i'm just trying to get a whole lot more patient and deliberate about all the things i do and including him in them.
ok, that's it for today...that was probably a little more than 5 min, no?
For objective one, i've been trying to be sure we have at least 1 "lab activity" a day. yesterday, we baked brownies, so similar to the activity we did during the home visit, we used a little red bowl and henry knew his role right away. however, the challenge did come in keeping his interest. actually, i think i presented a challenge that was too great - i had us stirring with the spoon with our hands together and i was going to change up speeds, etc. but henry wanted no part of it, so i just let him leave and thanked him for helping me...basically b/c i really needed to get the brownies cooked before we went to a bbq. i know, i know....rushing is the worst thing for rdi, but that's life sometimes. so much for objective 2 this time.
today's lab exercise was to water the flowers (heck we could do it everyday, given how hot it's been) . henry did ok, but was really just going through the motions, so it was hard for me to add a lot of variation. i think we should probably let this activity rest for awhile and maybe do it just once a week or so. anyway, one challenge was that mid-activity, rosie had stepped in mud and i asked him to spray her feet off. well, let's just say she got doused and was not in the mood! so crying ensued, and the activity ended pretty soon after that - though we did get through all the plants, the mood was definitely dampened (no pun intended ;)
objective four has been the easiest for me so far. spending time with Hank just hangin is not hard at all....though what happens is that he inevitably attempts to get me to do something...like read him a book. am i just being a tool for his wants? i don't know if that is really making a "connection" or even if i should be responding to him, though my gut says yes. so we ended up reading a book one time. another time he just ignored me the whole time and then left. but sitting around in his room doing and saying nothing has been fine. i will wait for a moment of "henry freak-out" and see if i can video the outcome on that.
one activity that i am going to add to the repertoire is henry helping me carry the laundry basket - upstairs, downstairs, whatever...i could use the help and i think it helps us with coordination. i'm also trying to get something framed related to putting his clothes away...like i put piles on his bed and then eye reference him for the one to pick up...then i open the drawer...then he drops the clothes in...then i close the drawer...then back to the next pile. hey - i hate to do all the "chore" things, but they've got to get done and that's the type of stuff that takes me away from spending time with Henry, especially in the evenings after work. i'm just trying to get a whole lot more patient and deliberate about all the things i do and including him in them.
ok, that's it for today...that was probably a little more than 5 min, no?
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Making Time and Framing Worksheets
Well, last week was a killer as i was back to work on full days all week (no more half day friday!), so really little RDI activity happened. This weekend, Aaron and i sat down with the framing worksheets and started to work out the type of activities we wanted to do on the next round of videos. some old, and some new. The framing worksheets are helpful in terms of laying out an activity, but we are hoping they will become obsolete soon as we intuitively learn how to do these things. Zone of proximity has been a huge thing with henry lately, and i find that more often then not i am holding his hand during things we do together, just to keep his attention focused. i also read some interesting things on the listserve about "stopping the action", and i think i might try to incorporate that a bit more too, especially when he loses attention to what i'm saying. Otherwise, i'm also trying to do less talking, which aaron says is my big problem. though, i think my biggest problem is finding more time and energy to do things. The pregnancy is just making me awful tired lately and this new schedule has been miserable. something will have to give at some point i guess, which will probably be my sanity. we are really looking forward to starting on Henry's goals soon...if you could give us one or two to get started with, i think it would really help us get focused on using activities more effectively.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Two Weeks Vacation and RDI
Well, I've been feeling like a complete slacker for not writing on our blog, especially after i said i would during vacation. Tonight we just got home from two weeks of lots of traveling, seeing family, time at the beach and pool, and ending with Aaron and I having a weekend away to ourselves, sans kiddies, which was nice :) Although we didn't do many formal RDI activities with Henry while we were gone, we did try to stay mindful of several things following our home visit and it was also a great chance to educate the rest of the family on the meaning of an "RDI lifestyle". For example, some days we would pick a certain objective for the day, like: "We won't ask any questions to Henry today" or "Today our goal is to only use basic sentences with Henry." We even did a few giver/putter activities and lots of joint walking. For this, we were rewarded with a few great comments from Henry, like "It's windy" while we were walking on the beach...but overall it was a bit stressful for the poor kid, since we didn't have a set schedule and were traveling and sleeping in multiple places. We had a few meltdowns, no surprise. Anyway, now we will be returning to work and the old routine and recommitting ourselves to our RDI parent objectives. Bring on the framing worksheets! I promise to write more.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
an amazing moment
just wanted to write a quick note on here to document a truly amazing moment. I've been on a business trip for the last three days and of course missing the kids tremendously. I usually call the kids at night before their bedtime. Tonight, Aaron put Henry on the phone and told him it was Mommy. Usually, Aaron will prompt Henry to say something like "Hi Mommy" or "I love you". Henry got on the phone and after a few seconds said "Mommy, I miss you." Of course, i figured Aaron had told him to say that, until Aaron immediately grabbed the phone back and said.."Holy....., you're not gonna believe this, but i didn't tell him to say that!" wow...well, you can imagine the tears after that. What an amazing thing! Henry seems to be surprising us every day with how he's changing and learning.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Searching for Opportunities
Haven't had a chance to write in a while...i think we were somewhat burnt out after preparing all those videos. However, we have been trying to incorporate a lot of the changes and suggestions you gave in the feedback. We all headed out to Aaron's parents' place this past weekend for a visit. They haven't seen Henry since Christmas and were really surprised at his progress. We had a lot of opportunities to do the walking activities on our way to and from the park near their house. Henry did well with both his dad and me on those, and seemed to be having fun trying to take funny steps or jump over a crack together.
Henry's referencing during our planned "activities" has been great - as you saw in the video. However, I've been trying to incorporate referencing into more of our day-to-day - like, instead of asking him to pick up his clothes or turn the light off, I will simply say his name to get his attention and then glance at the item he needs to act on. He is doing this pretty well too. The one thing we are not seeing though is "general referencing" us for information when we do not initiate, e.g. when he is doing something on his own and gets perplexed about something, he will either lose interest in the item or maybe present it to us, but he is not referencing with eye contact for information until we say his name. (i hope you're able to understand what i mean) Is this something that we will see develop over time?
Henry's spontaneous commentary is increasing little by little. I'm going to try to write down everything spontaneous he says this week just for my own little "happy" list - and so i know i'm not crazy because when i try to remember specific instances i always seem to forget (must be pregnancy brain!) Tonight, Henry came over to me after dinner and looked at me and said questioningly "build a mountain?" so we went in and all built a mountain together, Henry, Rosie, and me. Rosie loved it because we threw the bean bags on her and it was kinda cool making it a group activity, even if it was just for fun and games. I really hope to see their relationship grow over time and as we make strides with RDI.
Henry's referencing during our planned "activities" has been great - as you saw in the video. However, I've been trying to incorporate referencing into more of our day-to-day - like, instead of asking him to pick up his clothes or turn the light off, I will simply say his name to get his attention and then glance at the item he needs to act on. He is doing this pretty well too. The one thing we are not seeing though is "general referencing" us for information when we do not initiate, e.g. when he is doing something on his own and gets perplexed about something, he will either lose interest in the item or maybe present it to us, but he is not referencing with eye contact for information until we say his name. (i hope you're able to understand what i mean) Is this something that we will see develop over time?
Henry's spontaneous commentary is increasing little by little. I'm going to try to write down everything spontaneous he says this week just for my own little "happy" list - and so i know i'm not crazy because when i try to remember specific instances i always seem to forget (must be pregnancy brain!) Tonight, Henry came over to me after dinner and looked at me and said questioningly "build a mountain?" so we went in and all built a mountain together, Henry, Rosie, and me. Rosie loved it because we threw the bean bags on her and it was kinda cool making it a group activity, even if it was just for fun and games. I really hope to see their relationship grow over time and as we make strides with RDI.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Video Review #1
Here it is... the moment of truth!
Building a Mountain w/ Mom
Dinner w/ Mom
Laundry w/ Mom
A Bunch of Stuff w/ Dad
Building a Mountain w/ Mom
Dinner w/ Mom
Laundry w/ Mom
A Bunch of Stuff w/ Dad
Monday, May 14, 2007
Weekend at Grandma and Grandad's
This past weekend, Henry and Rosie spent the weekend at their grandparents down the street, while Aaron and I got away for a quick weekend to celebrate his brother's graduation (Vegas would have been better, but we did have fun!) My mom shared with me some great things that she saw from Henry while he was there. It's nice to get her perspective since she doesn't see Henry everyday and can track the changes.
One of the things that stood out was that when my mother started emptying the dishwasher, Henry walked over and started helping her (!!!) this is amazing, since the kid usually just hides out in his toy room until there is some meal to be eaten and then he makes haste back to his hermit existence. Mom said that she would hand him a utensil and he would put it away in the right spot and then return to her. This was great in so many ways because 1. this was an activity that Henry has done in the past with Aaron and so he felt confident in his abilities 2. he actually approached my mom to do this. when we started doing this activity at home, it was more like a "task" and something that daddy was making him do. I really believe that because this was something that he knew he could do, he felt confident in making the approach to my mom. 3. he knew his role right away 4. he impressed my mom :)
We've also been getting a lot of great feedback from Henry's teacher, Megan, who has been wonderful about incorporating RDI into Henry's daily activities at school. I'll send you her email, but he's been making some spontaneous comments and referencing her a whole lot more than he ever used to.
Today was my first try at the video taping. I set the video up to tape us during dinner and i tried to implement a few of the suggestions and activities you suggested. I think our first "video review" will probably contain both lifestyle activities and some specific things in the "activity room." More on the video later when i post it up.
One of the things that stood out was that when my mother started emptying the dishwasher, Henry walked over and started helping her (!!!) this is amazing, since the kid usually just hides out in his toy room until there is some meal to be eaten and then he makes haste back to his hermit existence. Mom said that she would hand him a utensil and he would put it away in the right spot and then return to her. This was great in so many ways because 1. this was an activity that Henry has done in the past with Aaron and so he felt confident in his abilities 2. he actually approached my mom to do this. when we started doing this activity at home, it was more like a "task" and something that daddy was making him do. I really believe that because this was something that he knew he could do, he felt confident in making the approach to my mom. 3. he knew his role right away 4. he impressed my mom :)
We've also been getting a lot of great feedback from Henry's teacher, Megan, who has been wonderful about incorporating RDI into Henry's daily activities at school. I'll send you her email, but he's been making some spontaneous comments and referencing her a whole lot more than he ever used to.
Today was my first try at the video taping. I set the video up to tape us during dinner and i tried to implement a few of the suggestions and activities you suggested. I think our first "video review" will probably contain both lifestyle activities and some specific things in the "activity room." More on the video later when i post it up.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Activity Variety - Theresa
Since I last posted, i've mostly been working with Henry on some variations to the games we've been playing. We cut up a cucumber salad on Sunday, and he did very well with his role. However, he would start to get upset when i did something off the norm, like eat the cuke instead of handing it to him. That caused a guttural groan of disapproval. We rebounded though, and were able to finish off with cutting the cucumber and then cleaning up.
I've tried a few variations on the mountain-building game too. When we run and jump in the mountain together (henry's favorite part of course) i vary it using different speeds - sometimes we run fast and sometimes in slow-mo. When moving slowly, he has to keep pace with me so we can jump in the pile together. I tried this again tonight (Wed) but had a hard time getting him to regulate with me...he was just too excited to jump in that pile.
I also tried to make a game with emptying the dishwasher, though since most stuff is breakable i had his role be handing me the item, and i would put it away. I don't know if it was too late in the evening, maybe i didn't structure it well, or maybe he just didn't like it, but after we finished the top rack he was like, "all done, no more!" yeah kid, i feel the same way sometimes.
anyhow, i keep trying to vary up the activities and thinking of new ones b/c we both get bored pretty quick. I echo Aaron's sentiments about the activity room starting to be associated with "work" for Henry. Henry begrudgingly follows me in there, but i wish there was some way to make it more inviting. I guess once he gets better at dealing with distractions, we won't have to use that room as much anymore.
Otherwise, I've also been trying to incorporate some of the RDI basics into our routine, like slowing down speech, indirect prompts, and declarative statements. I think the statements are really paying off b/c Henry has had quite a bit more spontaneous speech than before (caveat that with before there was none!) So he will occasionally make a very short comment on something, though often this might be a spin-off of a comment i've made (hmm...does this count for spontaneous??) for example, he got a toy elephant from his Nana in the mail today and I made a few comments about its features. A few minutes later i hear him say "elephant has big tusks" hey, it wasn't exactly what i said and at least it didn't come from "Dora the Explorer", I'm taking it as a positive sign. Good to know he's actually listening to me. I'll try to write more later...unfortunately Rose and I will be out of town this weekend for a funeral, so looks like Daddy will be doing most of the activities for the next few days.
I've tried a few variations on the mountain-building game too. When we run and jump in the mountain together (henry's favorite part of course) i vary it using different speeds - sometimes we run fast and sometimes in slow-mo. When moving slowly, he has to keep pace with me so we can jump in the pile together. I tried this again tonight (Wed) but had a hard time getting him to regulate with me...he was just too excited to jump in that pile.
I also tried to make a game with emptying the dishwasher, though since most stuff is breakable i had his role be handing me the item, and i would put it away. I don't know if it was too late in the evening, maybe i didn't structure it well, or maybe he just didn't like it, but after we finished the top rack he was like, "all done, no more!" yeah kid, i feel the same way sometimes.
anyhow, i keep trying to vary up the activities and thinking of new ones b/c we both get bored pretty quick. I echo Aaron's sentiments about the activity room starting to be associated with "work" for Henry. Henry begrudgingly follows me in there, but i wish there was some way to make it more inviting. I guess once he gets better at dealing with distractions, we won't have to use that room as much anymore.
Otherwise, I've also been trying to incorporate some of the RDI basics into our routine, like slowing down speech, indirect prompts, and declarative statements. I think the statements are really paying off b/c Henry has had quite a bit more spontaneous speech than before (caveat that with before there was none!) So he will occasionally make a very short comment on something, though often this might be a spin-off of a comment i've made (hmm...does this count for spontaneous??) for example, he got a toy elephant from his Nana in the mail today and I made a few comments about its features. A few minutes later i hear him say "elephant has big tusks" hey, it wasn't exactly what i said and at least it didn't come from "Dora the Explorer", I'm taking it as a positive sign. Good to know he's actually listening to me. I'll try to write more later...unfortunately Rose and I will be out of town this weekend for a funeral, so looks like Daddy will be doing most of the activities for the next few days.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Small Victories
Yesterday I got back from my trip and the house was a little chaotic. Henry spent most of the afternoon running away from Rosie and me, exiting a room almost as soon as we entered. We did all three play for a little while in his room, though nothing spectacular. After I put Rosie to bed around 7, I tried to tempt Henry down to the activity room to do some mountain building. He was psyched to have a little "alone-time" with Mommy, but very NOT into do anything together. Truthfully, I was too tired to fight about it, so I just quietly left the room and slowly walked outside and sat in the yard. My assumption was that Henry would just hang out inside, stimming off some book or something until I came back in, but little did I know about three minutes later he came outside and slowly made his way to join me on the lawn. It was great to see that he was actually seeking me out, instead of just playing on his own! We proceeded to practice blowing dandelions all over the lawn (I'm sure Aaron will be happy about that), until Henry's uncle, aunt, and cousin showed up for a visit.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Tuesday, April 24th - 1/2 hour
Today was a good day for Henry, despite his allergies being terrible. After Rosie went to bed, we were able to do a few activities together. I also tried to facilitate a game with Rosie - though i'm not sure how good of an idea that is at this point. We have this stuffed animal frog who's mouth zips open. Rosie would hand me the frog and i would fill it with some "surprise", then zip it back up and she would carry it to Henry. We would make a big deal about the anticipation, saying "boy, i wonder what the frog ate?" Henry would get really excited and then unzip and exclaim what he ate - i tried to throw in some funny things like the phone and Rosie's bottle. It was kinda a neat game, though not sure how RDIish it was - any suggestions on expanding on it?
Cutting strawberries - we did this in the activity room (i guess that's the name i'll use for the room we cleared out and made distraction-less.) This was cool, b/c it was a revision on the carrot-peeling activity...this time i brought in two bowls - one for the tops and one for the rest of the berries. Henry was great with this, understood his role right away, did a lot of referencing and wasn't thrown off at all when i did something weird, like hand him the strawberry and top in a different order, or hand them to him both at the same time. Once in awhile he threw it in the wrong dish, and i would make a surprised sound and he would immediately know that something was amiss, and he would fix it. This game went well.
Building a mountain - He was really into this game tonight. After we had built the mountain, i did the "jumping on the mountain" part. This became a critical part of the game, because i used this to see how "in sync" we were. After we had jumped once and high-fived for the good job we did together, i walked back over to the other side of the room quietly and put my hands out to see if he would join me. it took about a minute, but he finally got it (without any words from me) and came over. we jumped again. i would pause for effect on the "ready set...go" part and he was right there with me looking in my eyes for the go...it was great! The third time i walked very slowly toward the other side of the room...saying nothing but looking for him out of my peripheral vision. He walked along-side me! we did this about two more times with our motions in sync...it was so cool. When we had first started building the mountain, he was rushing ahead of me and still jumping on the bed too soon - but it was amazing with a little patience and his defined role, how he finally fell into sync.
i'll be traveling for work for the next three days so won't be able to write again til the weekend.
Cutting strawberries - we did this in the activity room (i guess that's the name i'll use for the room we cleared out and made distraction-less.) This was cool, b/c it was a revision on the carrot-peeling activity...this time i brought in two bowls - one for the tops and one for the rest of the berries. Henry was great with this, understood his role right away, did a lot of referencing and wasn't thrown off at all when i did something weird, like hand him the strawberry and top in a different order, or hand them to him both at the same time. Once in awhile he threw it in the wrong dish, and i would make a surprised sound and he would immediately know that something was amiss, and he would fix it. This game went well.
Building a mountain - He was really into this game tonight. After we had built the mountain, i did the "jumping on the mountain" part. This became a critical part of the game, because i used this to see how "in sync" we were. After we had jumped once and high-fived for the good job we did together, i walked back over to the other side of the room quietly and put my hands out to see if he would join me. it took about a minute, but he finally got it (without any words from me) and came over. we jumped again. i would pause for effect on the "ready set...go" part and he was right there with me looking in my eyes for the go...it was great! The third time i walked very slowly toward the other side of the room...saying nothing but looking for him out of my peripheral vision. He walked along-side me! we did this about two more times with our motions in sync...it was so cool. When we had first started building the mountain, he was rushing ahead of me and still jumping on the bed too soon - but it was amazing with a little patience and his defined role, how he finally fell into sync.
i'll be traveling for work for the next three days so won't be able to write again til the weekend.
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