This evening, Henry and I unloaded the dishwasher. He handed me dishes and I put them away. I focused on objective 3 with this activity. I put away the dishes on the first 10 or so hand-offs then I would freeze. Henry would try to put the dish in my hand and then grab my arm and push it toward the counter. This was his typical reaction during the 10 or so times I froze. One time I tried to prolong the freeze and eventually he made some noise like "eeehhhhh" and I looked over, we met eyes and continued with the hand-offs. I was surprised he didn't try to pinch me which he does when he's not getting his way. However, I was a little disappointed that he chose to just move my hand or put the dish away himself rather than try to communicate verbally but I guess that'll come.
After unloading the dishwasher, we went upstairs to get him ready for bed. He was really tweaking out once he got to his bedroom. Really stemming hard, bouncing, flapping, squealing. I tried to use objective 4 in this situation but now after I read the objective again, maybe not. He undressed and put his PJs on and I tried to read him a book but he wasn't really into it. When he was really stemming hard I would grab him and have him sit beside me. He tried his best to get away, and he did but I would grab him again. We went back and forth on this for about 5 minutes before lights-out.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Aaron's Notes - 8/14
More of the same in the morning - not asking questions, catching myself if I start to - even if it's something rhetorical because he'll try to answer it if he's paying attention. Trying to keep my interactions with him fresh which is hard considering our mornings are very "routine".
This evening Henry was spazzing a bit, I tried objective 4 for the first time after our home visit. I've done this type of thing many times before but not usually for more than a minute or so. It wasn't much of a challenge but I have some questions...
This evening Henry was spazzing a bit, I tried objective 4 for the first time after our home visit. I've done this type of thing many times before but not usually for more than a minute or so. It wasn't much of a challenge but I have some questions...
- am I supposed to grab him to come back to the couch (or wherever we are) or am I supposed to follow him around but never leave his side? I noticed myself trying to show him that I was happy when I grabbed him to come back. I ask because I was taping a bit and I wasn't able to set up the camera and follow him around because I'd be out of the camera's angle.
- Also, when I taped, he was reading a book and I was reading it with him or more like reading it to him... at times we were reading it together. We read together all the time so I was wondering if that counts as part of the objective or am I supposed to just be with him when he's doing whatever he does?
- I also tried to be observant as to make sure he wasn't using me as a tool so when he was leaning against me which could be a minor stem for Henry, I would sit up and make sure were were sitting next each other instead of him in front or to the side leaning. Should I be worrying about minor things like that for this objective?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Finding 5 minutes to Ponder
Well, i'm back to writing on the blog and this time i really mean it! Keeping in mind our first parent objective, both aaron and i have been trying to find 5 minutes a day to ponder what we are working on with Henry. so far, so good for the past two days.
For objective one, i've been trying to be sure we have at least 1 "lab activity" a day. yesterday, we baked brownies, so similar to the activity we did during the home visit, we used a little red bowl and henry knew his role right away. however, the challenge did come in keeping his interest. actually, i think i presented a challenge that was too great - i had us stirring with the spoon with our hands together and i was going to change up speeds, etc. but henry wanted no part of it, so i just let him leave and thanked him for helping me...basically b/c i really needed to get the brownies cooked before we went to a bbq. i know, i know....rushing is the worst thing for rdi, but that's life sometimes. so much for objective 2 this time.
today's lab exercise was to water the flowers (heck we could do it everyday, given how hot it's been) . henry did ok, but was really just going through the motions, so it was hard for me to add a lot of variation. i think we should probably let this activity rest for awhile and maybe do it just once a week or so. anyway, one challenge was that mid-activity, rosie had stepped in mud and i asked him to spray her feet off. well, let's just say she got doused and was not in the mood! so crying ensued, and the activity ended pretty soon after that - though we did get through all the plants, the mood was definitely dampened (no pun intended ;)
objective four has been the easiest for me so far. spending time with Hank just hangin is not hard at all....though what happens is that he inevitably attempts to get me to do something...like read him a book. am i just being a tool for his wants? i don't know if that is really making a "connection" or even if i should be responding to him, though my gut says yes. so we ended up reading a book one time. another time he just ignored me the whole time and then left. but sitting around in his room doing and saying nothing has been fine. i will wait for a moment of "henry freak-out" and see if i can video the outcome on that.
one activity that i am going to add to the repertoire is henry helping me carry the laundry basket - upstairs, downstairs, whatever...i could use the help and i think it helps us with coordination. i'm also trying to get something framed related to putting his clothes away...like i put piles on his bed and then eye reference him for the one to pick up...then i open the drawer...then he drops the clothes in...then i close the drawer...then back to the next pile. hey - i hate to do all the "chore" things, but they've got to get done and that's the type of stuff that takes me away from spending time with Henry, especially in the evenings after work. i'm just trying to get a whole lot more patient and deliberate about all the things i do and including him in them.
ok, that's it for today...that was probably a little more than 5 min, no?
For objective one, i've been trying to be sure we have at least 1 "lab activity" a day. yesterday, we baked brownies, so similar to the activity we did during the home visit, we used a little red bowl and henry knew his role right away. however, the challenge did come in keeping his interest. actually, i think i presented a challenge that was too great - i had us stirring with the spoon with our hands together and i was going to change up speeds, etc. but henry wanted no part of it, so i just let him leave and thanked him for helping me...basically b/c i really needed to get the brownies cooked before we went to a bbq. i know, i know....rushing is the worst thing for rdi, but that's life sometimes. so much for objective 2 this time.
today's lab exercise was to water the flowers (heck we could do it everyday, given how hot it's been) . henry did ok, but was really just going through the motions, so it was hard for me to add a lot of variation. i think we should probably let this activity rest for awhile and maybe do it just once a week or so. anyway, one challenge was that mid-activity, rosie had stepped in mud and i asked him to spray her feet off. well, let's just say she got doused and was not in the mood! so crying ensued, and the activity ended pretty soon after that - though we did get through all the plants, the mood was definitely dampened (no pun intended ;)
objective four has been the easiest for me so far. spending time with Hank just hangin is not hard at all....though what happens is that he inevitably attempts to get me to do something...like read him a book. am i just being a tool for his wants? i don't know if that is really making a "connection" or even if i should be responding to him, though my gut says yes. so we ended up reading a book one time. another time he just ignored me the whole time and then left. but sitting around in his room doing and saying nothing has been fine. i will wait for a moment of "henry freak-out" and see if i can video the outcome on that.
one activity that i am going to add to the repertoire is henry helping me carry the laundry basket - upstairs, downstairs, whatever...i could use the help and i think it helps us with coordination. i'm also trying to get something framed related to putting his clothes away...like i put piles on his bed and then eye reference him for the one to pick up...then i open the drawer...then he drops the clothes in...then i close the drawer...then back to the next pile. hey - i hate to do all the "chore" things, but they've got to get done and that's the type of stuff that takes me away from spending time with Henry, especially in the evenings after work. i'm just trying to get a whole lot more patient and deliberate about all the things i do and including him in them.
ok, that's it for today...that was probably a little more than 5 min, no?
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Recent Activities with Dad
I wanted to log a few things I have been working on with Henry in the past few days. On Sunday, we did three short activities.
Unloading laundry from the washer to the dryer - he has done this many time and it's apparent that he's quite confident in his role. I tried just about everything I could think of to create productive uncertainty... I dropped the item in front of him, I put it on his head, I wouldn't let go. He really seemed to go with the flow.
8-7-07 - We unloaded laundry again but this time Henry got the laundry out of the washer and handed it to me to put in the dryer. I threw kinks by not putting the item in the dryer, he would just wait or look at me but he never got upset or appeared uneasy.
Watering the flowers - we typically start from the back, but this time, we started in the front and it didn't phase him. Also, I wanted to see how he would react when I didn't hang the previous basket and he was fine with it. The last time we did the exercise, he wouldn't start watering the next basket until the previous basket was hung.
Unloading the dishwasher - here he handed me dishes and I would put them away. He would space out here and there but when he did, I would clear my throat and if that didn't do it, I'd say "I need a plate" or something to that affect. When we got to the silverware, he didn't want to do it anymore. Not sure if it was because he was bored of the activity or that he didn't feel comfortable doing the silverware after the dishes because he always does the silverware exclusively (OCD issue).
Our morning routing - it's changed up a little since he has been in summer school. We really don't have time to do a whole lot but I do usually pick out his clothes and make sure he gets dressed. He seems to be understanding when he needs to take off his bed clothes when I say "it's time to get dressed" but with the putting on clothes part, he gets very distracted. I guess it's because he likes being naked but unfortunately, they won't let him into school that way. I try not to use too much speech when directing him to put on his clothes and now that I think about it, lately, have been using almost none. I'll hand him his underwear and if he's spacing out and twirling them around like he does, I'll take them from him and lay them out again. Sometimes I'll have to grab his arm and lead him to the floor where the clothes are laid out. If I don't lay out the clothes all at once, at times I'll hand him his shirt before his underwear (which he usually puts on first, who doesn't?) and see how he reacts. He used to always try to put the shirt on his feet but lately, I've noticed that he's putting it over his head so it seems like he's paying better attention as far as that goes. That's progress, right?
8-8-07 - Well... I gave him is shirt first today and he tried put it on his legs. I said 'this is a shirt' and that still didn't register. I guess I should have given him some non-verbal prompts or a more straight-forward verbal prompt because I eventually had to put it over his head.
Unloading laundry from the washer to the dryer - he has done this many time and it's apparent that he's quite confident in his role. I tried just about everything I could think of to create productive uncertainty... I dropped the item in front of him, I put it on his head, I wouldn't let go. He really seemed to go with the flow.
8-7-07 - We unloaded laundry again but this time Henry got the laundry out of the washer and handed it to me to put in the dryer. I threw kinks by not putting the item in the dryer, he would just wait or look at me but he never got upset or appeared uneasy.
Watering the flowers - we typically start from the back, but this time, we started in the front and it didn't phase him. Also, I wanted to see how he would react when I didn't hang the previous basket and he was fine with it. The last time we did the exercise, he wouldn't start watering the next basket until the previous basket was hung.
Unloading the dishwasher - here he handed me dishes and I would put them away. He would space out here and there but when he did, I would clear my throat and if that didn't do it, I'd say "I need a plate" or something to that affect. When we got to the silverware, he didn't want to do it anymore. Not sure if it was because he was bored of the activity or that he didn't feel comfortable doing the silverware after the dishes because he always does the silverware exclusively (OCD issue).
Our morning routing - it's changed up a little since he has been in summer school. We really don't have time to do a whole lot but I do usually pick out his clothes and make sure he gets dressed. He seems to be understanding when he needs to take off his bed clothes when I say "it's time to get dressed" but with the putting on clothes part, he gets very distracted. I guess it's because he likes being naked but unfortunately, they won't let him into school that way. I try not to use too much speech when directing him to put on his clothes and now that I think about it, lately, have been using almost none. I'll hand him his underwear and if he's spacing out and twirling them around like he does, I'll take them from him and lay them out again. Sometimes I'll have to grab his arm and lead him to the floor where the clothes are laid out. If I don't lay out the clothes all at once, at times I'll hand him his shirt before his underwear (which he usually puts on first, who doesn't?) and see how he reacts. He used to always try to put the shirt on his feet but lately, I've noticed that he's putting it over his head so it seems like he's paying better attention as far as that goes. That's progress, right?
8-8-07 - Well... I gave him is shirt first today and he tried put it on his legs. I said 'this is a shirt' and that still didn't register. I guess I should have given him some non-verbal prompts or a more straight-forward verbal prompt because I eventually had to put it over his head.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Watering Flowers with Dad
I did the flower watering activity with Henry this evening. It started out a little rocky. Henry had a hard time understanding that he needed to pull the hose all the way to the first basket. After telling him 20 times I walked down to him and helped him pull the hose out the rest of the way. Once I turned the water on, he wouldn't stop spraying the ground. I think he was messing with me. He would look up while he was spraying, I would shake my head 'no' but he kept spraying. I think I finally took the hose from him and told him 'no' verbally and probably a few other choice words, he got upset but luckily didn't throw him off too bad. Yea, I know... I need to be more patient.
Once we got into it, everything went smooth. He knows the drill at this point. For a kink, after the 3rd or 4th basket, I did the same thing T tried in the video. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 5, 5, 5... It didn't bother him too bad but he definitely didn't think it was funny. The next thing I did was try to go the next basket without putting the previous basket back up on the hook. He took my hand and guided me back to the other basket. I put it up (maybe I shouldn't have???).
There's a pot on a stand that we did at the end. Henry wanted it down on the ground like the baskets so I put it down on the ground (maybe I shouldn't have???). After he watered it, I asked him to put it back up on the stand. He thought it was too heavy so I asked him to help me and he did, then he let go toward the end, then I acted like it was too heavy and asked for his help to get it the rest of the way. It was a nice way to end the activity.
Once we got into it, everything went smooth. He knows the drill at this point. For a kink, after the 3rd or 4th basket, I did the same thing T tried in the video. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 5, 5, 5... It didn't bother him too bad but he definitely didn't think it was funny. The next thing I did was try to go the next basket without putting the previous basket back up on the hook. He took my hand and guided me back to the other basket. I put it up (maybe I shouldn't have???).
There's a pot on a stand that we did at the end. Henry wanted it down on the ground like the baskets so I put it down on the ground (maybe I shouldn't have???). After he watered it, I asked him to put it back up on the stand. He thought it was too heavy so I asked him to help me and he did, then he let go toward the end, then I acted like it was too heavy and asked for his help to get it the rest of the way. It was a nice way to end the activity.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Making Time and Framing Worksheets
Well, last week was a killer as i was back to work on full days all week (no more half day friday!), so really little RDI activity happened. This weekend, Aaron and i sat down with the framing worksheets and started to work out the type of activities we wanted to do on the next round of videos. some old, and some new. The framing worksheets are helpful in terms of laying out an activity, but we are hoping they will become obsolete soon as we intuitively learn how to do these things. Zone of proximity has been a huge thing with henry lately, and i find that more often then not i am holding his hand during things we do together, just to keep his attention focused. i also read some interesting things on the listserve about "stopping the action", and i think i might try to incorporate that a bit more too, especially when he loses attention to what i'm saying. Otherwise, i'm also trying to do less talking, which aaron says is my big problem. though, i think my biggest problem is finding more time and energy to do things. The pregnancy is just making me awful tired lately and this new schedule has been miserable. something will have to give at some point i guess, which will probably be my sanity. we are really looking forward to starting on Henry's goals soon...if you could give us one or two to get started with, i think it would really help us get focused on using activities more effectively.
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