I did a couple of activities with Henry over the weekend, nothing too exciting. We did the "bean bag mountain" activity Saturday morning. He didn't want to do it initially (shocker) but after 5 minutes of trying to pick him off the floor, he gained some interest and begun to participate. His teachers at school call him "noodle". The name comes from his ability to lose all muscle function when an authority figure is trying to get him to do something he's not wanting to do. Anyway, it seems like he's seeing this whole "going into the activity room" as therapy or a school activity and immediately refuses to participate. Once he decides that this may be something he's interested in, he relents, plays along for 5 or 10 minutes, then proclaimed his classic "okay, no more". Theresa said she could hear me and I was talking too much during the activity so I guess I need to watch that.
Now, I know that I'm supposed to get him to participate, even if he doesn't necessarily want to - but that's easier said than done when it comes to the noodle boy. Even if he's not wanting to do something, I've been working on grabbing his hand or wrist, not taking "no" for an answer. I'm really working hard to take his hand in a nice way... and not being too forceful. I think it's working. So... I have a question - I realize that he will eventually become more and more confident in performing these activities with us and because of that, he will be more motivated to participate -- but what if he is confident performing a particular activity but that activity is just not that interesting to him and that's the reason he's not participating? I guess what I'm trying to get at is, how do we tell the difference? Sometimes that's what I feel is happening though maybe I'm just being impatient.
We did a pretty cool activity outside on Sunday. He helped me pick up the sticks that had fallen off the trees over the winter. We would hold hands, I would motion to a stick on the ground, he would pick up a few sticks, I would pick up a few sticks, then we would walk over to the wheelbarrow, I would say 1, 2, 3, throw and we would throw the sticks in. I would make irregular pauses before the "throw", he would look up at me... it was great. There were a few large branches that we picked up together, walked it over to the wheelbarrow, etc. In between throws, he kept wanting to push the wheelbarrow and I let him... his little reward for participating... hmmm, is that too "ABA"? After 8 or 10 minutes, he was over it, but that was fine... I think it went pretty well.
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Firstly: So as I was reading this, my first thought is... hmmm so he's bored, we can move on to something new and leave this activity that's causing trouble in the dust. BUT I began to think and before doing this, I want you to think about the "Zone" that we talked about. We always want to be on the brink of Henry's competence level, if he's staying at this same level and already feels competent here, it sure will get boring for him. This just means that we need to add in more of a challenge (but one that he is able to handle through thought)
Secondly: as for "noodle boy" I would (of course plan for the time) WAIT, if he's going to turn into a noodle you allow just a bit of resistance so that he feels you- give him a simple "I'll wait" and do just that. I don't think he'll lay there forever, we'll go more in depth if he does, but just give it a try... Just wait it out and see what happens, allow this to turn into your activity "what's going to happen next" but be careful not to start doing all the work, entertaining, or talking. Maybe this is just something that has earned him the get out of jail free card in the past, and possibly if you just hang with him, he won't want to play THIS game anymore. Let me know how it goes.
In regards to "noodle boy" this is a great description that I found on a resource aritcle.
- when your child is laying on the couch, floor etc and you want him to do something but he doesn't want to get up, you take his hand and pull, hard enough to create tension but not hard enough to pull him off the couch or floor. You have just created
an opportunity for learning about self regulation. When he takes that active role to "get up" you spotlight this i.e. "I am so glad you are ready to be a ___."
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