an amazing moment

just wanted to write a quick note on here to document a truly amazing moment. I've been on a business trip for the last three days and of course missing the kids tremendously. I usually call the kids at night before their bedtime. Tonight, Aaron put Henry on the phone and told him it was Mommy. Usually, Aaron will prompt Henry to say something like "Hi Mommy" or "I love you". Henry got on the phone and after a few seconds said "Mommy, I miss you." Of course, i figured Aaron had told him to say that, until Aaron immediately grabbed the phone back and said.."Holy....., you're not gonna believe this, but i didn't tell him to say that!" wow...well, you can imagine the tears after that. What an amazing thing! Henry seems to be surprising us every day with how he's changing and learning.

Productive Uncertainty

I gave my first real attempt at using productive uncertainty with Henry this morning. Missy suggested I write down Henry's morning activities on little pieces of paper and have Henry pick them out of a hat so that we do them out of order. I wasn't sure this would work because our mornings are filled with uncertainty and Henry seems to handle it pretty well. Sometimes we get dressed in his room, other days downstairs... breakfast can be rushed if the kids slept late, I may forget to have him brush his teeth... lots of uncertainty... or so I thought. So I said what the hay, I'll give it a try. I had Henry pull an activity from the hat and he pulled "get dressed". He didn't like this very much and I was kinda suprised. He did relent after a few "no!s" and got dressed. I was going to have him pick another activity but he said "have breakfast" and I didn't want to push it so I gave him breakfast.

While waiting for the bus we sat on the tailgate of my truck like we do every morning but this morning we practiced "coordination" by swinging our legs and then keeping our legs outstreatched for a second or two, then back to swinging. He did pretty well and seemed to enjoy it.

I also want to note that a lot of people who are around Henry regularly have been noticing big changes. It's nice to hear.

Searching for Opportunities

Haven't had a chance to write in a while...i think we were somewhat burnt out after preparing all those videos. However, we have been trying to incorporate a lot of the changes and suggestions you gave in the feedback. We all headed out to Aaron's parents' place this past weekend for a visit. They haven't seen Henry since Christmas and were really surprised at his progress. We had a lot of opportunities to do the walking activities on our way to and from the park near their house. Henry did well with both his dad and me on those, and seemed to be having fun trying to take funny steps or jump over a crack together.

Henry's referencing during our planned "activities" has been great - as you saw in the video. However, I've been trying to incorporate referencing into more of our day-to-day - like, instead of asking him to pick up his clothes or turn the light off, I will simply say his name to get his attention and then glance at the item he needs to act on. He is doing this pretty well too. The one thing we are not seeing though is "general referencing" us for information when we do not initiate, e.g. when he is doing something on his own and gets perplexed about something, he will either lose interest in the item or maybe present it to us, but he is not referencing with eye contact for information until we say his name. (i hope you're able to understand what i mean) Is this something that we will see develop over time?

Henry's spontaneous commentary is increasing little by little. I'm going to try to write down everything spontaneous he says this week just for my own little "happy" list - and so i know i'm not crazy because when i try to remember specific instances i always seem to forget (must be pregnancy brain!) Tonight, Henry came over to me after dinner and looked at me and said questioningly "build a mountain?" so we went in and all built a mountain together, Henry, Rosie, and me. Rosie loved it because we threw the bean bags on her and it was kinda cool making it a group activity, even if it was just for fun and games. I really hope to see their relationship grow over time and as we make strides with RDI.

Video Review #1

Here it is... the moment of truth!

Building a Mountain w/ Mom


Dinner w/ Mom


Laundry w/ Mom


A Bunch of Stuff w/ Dad

Blog note from Grandma

Hi from Grandma. Just want to add something else that was so
meaningful this weekend. In the activity of putting away the dishes,
when I showed Henry that a big spoon went in a different place, the
second time I handed him a big spoon, he put it in the right place and
looked right up at me to make sure it was right and when I said "yes,
great"...he gave me the biggest smile. That sort of interaction is a
huge change. It's so wonderful to see his beautiful smile showing he
was pleased with what he did!!! I could see how happy he was.

Weekend at Grandma and Grandad's

This past weekend, Henry and Rosie spent the weekend at their grandparents down the street, while Aaron and I got away for a quick weekend to celebrate his brother's graduation (Vegas would have been better, but we did have fun!) My mom shared with me some great things that she saw from Henry while he was there. It's nice to get her perspective since she doesn't see Henry everyday and can track the changes.

One of the things that stood out was that when my mother started emptying the dishwasher, Henry walked over and started helping her (!!!) this is amazing, since the kid usually just hides out in his toy room until there is some meal to be eaten and then he makes haste back to his hermit existence. Mom said that she would hand him a utensil and he would put it away in the right spot and then return to her. This was great in so many ways because 1. this was an activity that Henry has done in the past with Aaron and so he felt confident in his abilities 2. he actually approached my mom to do this. when we started doing this activity at home, it was more like a "task" and something that daddy was making him do. I really believe that because this was something that he knew he could do, he felt confident in making the approach to my mom. 3. he knew his role right away 4. he impressed my mom :)

We've also been getting a lot of great feedback from Henry's teacher, Megan, who has been wonderful about incorporating RDI into Henry's daily activities at school. I'll send you her email, but he's been making some spontaneous comments and referencing her a whole lot more than he ever used to.

Today was my first try at the video taping. I set the video up to tape us during dinner and i tried to implement a few of the suggestions and activities you suggested. I think our first "video review" will probably contain both lifestyle activities and some specific things in the "activity room." More on the video later when i post it up.

Raisin Bran

I tried the “raisin bran” activity with Henry this morning. Let me just start with saying that between this kid and his sister, they must go through 2 boxes of raisin bran a week. This must explain why the kid is so regular. This is great, except for days like today when he decides he has to go a minute before the school bus is supposed to arrive. I digress…

He was already about half done when I decided to give it a shot. We didn’t have much time, or cereal left in the box so I had maybe 4 or 5 spoons full in my bowl. First I tried to get his attention just through some eye contact but that didn’t work. At one point, he went to take a bite and I make a noise, something like “ah, ah, ahhh” and he paused just as the spoon was entering his mouth. I put the spoon to my mouth and when I closed my mouth, he closed his… first try! We continued, 4 or 5 bits until my bowl was about empty. Each time I had to do the “ah, ah, ahhh” to prevent him from taking the bit but we’ll work on it. I also really tried to ham it up with the “yummy” and “wow, I love raisin bran!”. Not sure if he was really paying attention to that but who knows.

I feel like this was a fairly significant moment. You gotta understand, when we’re at home or our at a fast food joint, the kid does does everything he can to avoid others at the table when he is eating. He will literally turn it body completely around to the opposite side of the person next to him. The maybe one time a week we all have dinner as a family, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to sit at the dinner table with us for more than a couple of minutes so I was really surprised that he was willing to participate in the activity, even if it was only a couple of minutes.