Productive Uncertainty

I gave my first real attempt at using productive uncertainty with Henry this morning. Missy suggested I write down Henry's morning activities on little pieces of paper and have Henry pick them out of a hat so that we do them out of order. I wasn't sure this would work because our mornings are filled with uncertainty and Henry seems to handle it pretty well. Sometimes we get dressed in his room, other days downstairs... breakfast can be rushed if the kids slept late, I may forget to have him brush his teeth... lots of uncertainty... or so I thought. So I said what the hay, I'll give it a try. I had Henry pull an activity from the hat and he pulled "get dressed". He didn't like this very much and I was kinda suprised. He did relent after a few "no!s" and got dressed. I was going to have him pick another activity but he said "have breakfast" and I didn't want to push it so I gave him breakfast.

While waiting for the bus we sat on the tailgate of my truck like we do every morning but this morning we practiced "coordination" by swinging our legs and then keeping our legs outstreatched for a second or two, then back to swinging. He did pretty well and seemed to enjoy it.

I also want to note that a lot of people who are around Henry regularly have been noticing big changes. It's nice to hear.

Raisin Bran

I tried the “raisin bran” activity with Henry this morning. Let me just start with saying that between this kid and his sister, they must go through 2 boxes of raisin bran a week. This must explain why the kid is so regular. This is great, except for days like today when he decides he has to go a minute before the school bus is supposed to arrive. I digress…

He was already about half done when I decided to give it a shot. We didn’t have much time, or cereal left in the box so I had maybe 4 or 5 spoons full in my bowl. First I tried to get his attention just through some eye contact but that didn’t work. At one point, he went to take a bite and I make a noise, something like “ah, ah, ahhh” and he paused just as the spoon was entering his mouth. I put the spoon to my mouth and when I closed my mouth, he closed his… first try! We continued, 4 or 5 bits until my bowl was about empty. Each time I had to do the “ah, ah, ahhh” to prevent him from taking the bit but we’ll work on it. I also really tried to ham it up with the “yummy” and “wow, I love raisin bran!”. Not sure if he was really paying attention to that but who knows.

I feel like this was a fairly significant moment. You gotta understand, when we’re at home or our at a fast food joint, the kid does does everything he can to avoid others at the table when he is eating. He will literally turn it body completely around to the opposite side of the person next to him. The maybe one time a week we all have dinner as a family, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to sit at the dinner table with us for more than a couple of minutes so I was really surprised that he was willing to participate in the activity, even if it was only a couple of minutes.

Our Morning Routine

I think I need to change up my morning routine. It seems pretty non-eventful but perhaps that's a good thing? I've been doing about the same thing with Henry every morning... putting a bowl and cereal in front of him, we pour it in the bowl hand-over-hand. Once he decides he wants to eat (sometime that can take a few minutes, depending on how distracted he is) he says "I want the milk", then I pour the milk hand-over-hand. Then he says "I want the spoon" and I give him the spoon. He'll sometimes hand the cereal box to me for a refill, we fill the bowl, he asks for the milk... then we pretty much sit there... Henry will recite some book or television show he watched two years ago mixed with squeals and those other strange noises he comes up with, meanwhile Rose will do whatever she can to get my attention. I've mixing it up a little lately, like when he asks for a spoon, I'll give him a knife, he'll say "no" or I may give him something funny like an ice cream scoop and he'll kinda think it's funny.

The getting dressed part of the morning is always rushed so there hasn't been time for "I'll wait". I think he'd be fine with walking around naked all day so there's absolutely no motivation for him to put on his clothes. If it were freezing, he'd rather find a blanket than put on clothes. He has no concept of embarassment, especially when it comes to being naked. I guess we need to work with him on that. He likes in the "No David!" book where David is walking down the street without his pants but I don't think that translates. He does sometimes want privacy when he's using the bathroom, so I guess that's a good sign, but then again, he's almost always wants privacy.

So Far, So Good

I've been spending my time with Henry this week really trying to get down this whole "RDI Language" thing. Not sure if that's a coined term but that's what I'll use to refer to the no questions, no direct commands, abbreviated, slowed down, and likely something else I forgot type of language.

He's seemed to be reacting positively to our interactions. There are a few times where I get stumped on how to phrase something without making it into a question but I'm getting better as the week progresses. I'm not trying to jump the gun here but he has said a few pretty cool appropriate words/phrases this week... asking is grandma for "chicken" while being driven home from the sitters yesterday afternoon (referring to Popeyes) and this evening, being especially OCD, wanting all the lights in the house off, he said "just turn the lights off". Now I know that there's more to communication that just speech, especially when it's to get ones way but still... pretty cool, I must say. Not sure where this lights off thing is coming from. Maybe Theresa has the kids eat in the dark... I'm not sure. Anyway, like I said... don't want to declare an "RDI miracle" but it's been a while since I've been witness to any even moderately significant language from the kid so I thought I'd make note.

Here are some examples of some RDI-ish things that we're doing in our morning routine:

Breakfast

• instead of "what do you want for breakfast?" it's "I bet you're hungry"... then grabbing the box of raisin bran, getting his attention, and giving him the "how-bout-it eye".
• variations of... pouring the cereal in a bowl and waiting until he catches my eye and says "milk" and "spoon" or just setting the cereal box on the table and I say "we're missing something" and wait until he says "bowl". Sometimes he just gets the bowl or spoon himself without saying anything.
• most of the time I'll do a hand-over-hand when pouring the cereal and milk.

Getting Dressed/Brushing Teeth

• instead of "take your pants off, take your shirt off" I'm making a motion like I'm pulling down my pants, etc.
  
• instead of laying out his clothes, I'm throwing each item at him one at a time.
  
• to get him to brush his teeth, instead of saying "brush teeth" I say, "your teeth are dirty". He hasn't really caught on to that one yet, perhaps this is because he doesn't literally have any dirt in his teeth (as far as I know).
  

In other news, I took Henry to a stock car race on Saturday night at the local track. He LOVED it but was stemming his brains out the whole time and I can see why, because it was very cool. But a this point in the process, I wonder if it's advised to expose him to that much stimulation. Just wondering...