Aaron's Notes - 8/20

On Sunday we had some time together and I tried objective 4 again. We were on the couch, the tv was off and Henry pretty much just wallowed me to death - rolling around on me, playing with my face, but I put no demands on him. At one point, I played dead for a long time. He continued to roll around on me for the first couple minutes but eventually he grabbed my face then tried to open my eyes with his fingers. I took this as a positive. At least he noticed and, as far as I could tell, wanted me to be alive around him.

Aaron's notes - questions: objective 4

In the evenings, Henry is especially spazzy and it's nearly impossible to connect with him when he's like that. I thought these times would be a good opportunity to use objective 4 - I'm kinda stuck with this one so I have some questions about how it should be implemented.

Henry likes to look at books and usually bounces or rolls around on the couch or bed, visually stemming, turning the took to the side, upside down. So the question is, am I supposed to take the book away and try to get him to calm down, like, physically restrain him, or do I just sit by him and watch him tweak out? He rarely just sits down and chills out unless he's watching tv or doing a puzzle or something... so do I just try to sit with him when he's calm?

This objective is proving to be more difficult that I thought.

Aaron's Notes - 8/14

More of the same in the morning - not asking questions, catching myself if I start to - even if it's something rhetorical because he'll try to answer it if he's paying attention. Trying to keep my interactions with him fresh which is hard considering our mornings are very "routine".

This evening Henry was spazzing a bit, I tried objective 4 for the first time after our home visit. I've done this type of thing many times before but not usually for more than a minute or so. It wasn't much of a challenge but I have some questions...

• am I supposed to grab him to come back to the couch (or wherever we are) or am I supposed to follow him around but never leave his side? I noticed myself trying to show him that I was happy when I grabbed him to come back. I ask because I was taping a bit and I wasn't able to set up the camera and follow him around because I'd be out of the camera's angle.
  
• Also, when I taped, he was reading a book and I was reading it with him or more like reading it to him... at times we were reading it together. We read together all the time so I was wondering if that counts as part of the objective or am I supposed to just be with him when he's doing whatever he does?
  
• I also tried to be observant as to make sure he wasn't using me as a tool so when he was leaning against me which could be a minor stem for Henry, I would sit up and make sure were were sitting next each other instead of him in front or to the side leaning. Should I be worrying about minor things like that for this objective?

Recent Activities with Dad

I wanted to log a few things I have been working on with Henry in the past few days. On Sunday, we did three short activities.

Unloading laundry from the washer to the dryer - he has done this many time and it's apparent that he's quite confident in his role. I tried just about everything I could think of to create productive uncertainty... I dropped the item in front of him, I put it on his head, I wouldn't let go. He really seemed to go with the flow.

8-7-07 - We unloaded laundry again but this time Henry got the laundry out of the washer and handed it to me to put in the dryer. I threw kinks by not putting the item in the dryer, he would just wait or look at me but he never got upset or appeared uneasy.

Watering the flowers - we typically start from the back, but this time, we started in the front and it didn't phase him. Also, I wanted to see how he would react when I didn't hang the previous basket and he was fine with it. The last time we did the exercise, he wouldn't start watering the next basket until the previous basket was hung.

Unloading the dishwasher - here he handed me dishes and I would put them away. He would space out here and there but when he did, I would clear my throat and if that didn't do it, I'd say "I need a plate" or something to that affect. When we got to the silverware, he didn't want to do it anymore. Not sure if it was because he was bored of the activity or that he didn't feel comfortable doing the silverware after the dishes because he always does the silverware exclusively (OCD issue).

Our morning routing - it's changed up a little since he has been in summer school. We really don't have time to do a whole lot but I do usually pick out his clothes and make sure he gets dressed. He seems to be understanding when he needs to take off his bed clothes when I say "it's time to get dressed" but with the putting on clothes part, he gets very distracted. I guess it's because he likes being naked but unfortunately, they won't let him into school that way. I try not to use too much speech when directing him to put on his clothes and now that I think about it, lately, have been using almost none. I'll hand him his underwear and if he's spacing out and twirling them around like he does, I'll take them from him and lay them out again. Sometimes I'll have to grab his arm and lead him to the floor where the clothes are laid out. If I don't lay out the clothes all at once, at times I'll hand him his shirt before his underwear (which he usually puts on first, who doesn't?) and see how he reacts. He used to always try to put the shirt on his feet but lately, I've noticed that he's putting it over his head so it seems like he's paying better attention as far as that goes. That's progress, right?

8-8-07 - Well... I gave him is shirt first today and he tried put it on his legs. I said 'this is a shirt' and that still didn't register. I guess I should have given him some non-verbal prompts or a more straight-forward verbal prompt because I eventually had to put it over his head.

Watering Flowers with Dad

I did the flower watering activity with Henry this evening. It started out a little rocky. Henry had a hard time understanding that he needed to pull the hose all the way to the first basket. After telling him 20 times I walked down to him and helped him pull the hose out the rest of the way. Once I turned the water on, he wouldn't stop spraying the ground. I think he was messing with me. He would look up while he was spraying, I would shake my head 'no' but he kept spraying. I think I finally took the hose from him and told him 'no' verbally and probably a few other choice words, he got upset but luckily didn't throw him off too bad. Yea, I know... I need to be more patient.

Once we got into it, everything went smooth. He knows the drill at this point. For a kink, after the 3rd or 4th basket, I did the same thing T tried in the video. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 5, 5, 5... It didn't bother him too bad but he definitely didn't think it was funny. The next thing I did was try to go the next basket without putting the previous basket back up on the hook. He took my hand and guided me back to the other basket. I put it up (maybe I shouldn't have???).

There's a pot on a stand that we did at the end. Henry wanted it down on the ground like the baskets so I put it down on the ground (maybe I shouldn't have???). After he watered it, I asked him to put it back up on the stand. He thought it was too heavy so I asked him to help me and he did, then he let go toward the end, then I acted like it was too heavy and asked for his help to get it the rest of the way. It was a nice way to end the activity.

Productive Uncertainty

I gave my first real attempt at using productive uncertainty with Henry this morning. Missy suggested I write down Henry's morning activities on little pieces of paper and have Henry pick them out of a hat so that we do them out of order. I wasn't sure this would work because our mornings are filled with uncertainty and Henry seems to handle it pretty well. Sometimes we get dressed in his room, other days downstairs... breakfast can be rushed if the kids slept late, I may forget to have him brush his teeth... lots of uncertainty... or so I thought. So I said what the hay, I'll give it a try. I had Henry pull an activity from the hat and he pulled "get dressed". He didn't like this very much and I was kinda suprised. He did relent after a few "no!s" and got dressed. I was going to have him pick another activity but he said "have breakfast" and I didn't want to push it so I gave him breakfast.

While waiting for the bus we sat on the tailgate of my truck like we do every morning but this morning we practiced "coordination" by swinging our legs and then keeping our legs outstreatched for a second or two, then back to swinging. He did pretty well and seemed to enjoy it.

I also want to note that a lot of people who are around Henry regularly have been noticing big changes. It's nice to hear.

Video Review #1

Here it is... the moment of truth!

Building a Mountain w/ Mom


Dinner w/ Mom


Laundry w/ Mom


A Bunch of Stuff w/ Dad

Raisin Bran

I tried the “raisin bran” activity with Henry this morning. Let me just start with saying that between this kid and his sister, they must go through 2 boxes of raisin bran a week. This must explain why the kid is so regular. This is great, except for days like today when he decides he has to go a minute before the school bus is supposed to arrive. I digress…

He was already about half done when I decided to give it a shot. We didn’t have much time, or cereal left in the box so I had maybe 4 or 5 spoons full in my bowl. First I tried to get his attention just through some eye contact but that didn’t work. At one point, he went to take a bite and I make a noise, something like “ah, ah, ahhh” and he paused just as the spoon was entering his mouth. I put the spoon to my mouth and when I closed my mouth, he closed his… first try! We continued, 4 or 5 bits until my bowl was about empty. Each time I had to do the “ah, ah, ahhh” to prevent him from taking the bit but we’ll work on it. I also really tried to ham it up with the “yummy” and “wow, I love raisin bran!”. Not sure if he was really paying attention to that but who knows.

I feel like this was a fairly significant moment. You gotta understand, when we’re at home or our at a fast food joint, the kid does does everything he can to avoid others at the table when he is eating. He will literally turn it body completely around to the opposite side of the person next to him. The maybe one time a week we all have dinner as a family, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to sit at the dinner table with us for more than a couple of minutes so I was really surprised that he was willing to participate in the activity, even if it was only a couple of minutes.

Phone Consult

We have a phone consultation with our RDI consultant this evening and just wanted to jot down a few questions/requests so I don't draw blanks when the time comes:

• Q: Can I get some suggestions on how to mix up our breakfast routine? Like I said in the previous post, I'll not give him what he asks for all the time and watch how he reacts... that's working but his responses seem like they're becoming rote. A: Switch around tasks (breakfast w/ getting dressed) and throw in surprises along the way.
  
• Q: I'd also like to get some suggestions on small activities to do with him while he's eating breakfast or if there are a few minutes between the time he finishes breakfast and when he starts getting dressed... something very quick that might be he may find hard to recognize as a formal activity. I get such little time that I want to make the most of it. A: eat cereal with him and try to scoop together, say "yummm".
  
• Q: Is it okay to ask one-word questions or should I try to avoid them all-together? A: Yes, it's fine but also ask him something that he won't like... to get his reaction.
  
• Q: He seems to be doing okay getting dressed in his room but do you think the time would be better spent if we did it in the activity room? A: As long as he's not too distracted, it's okay.
  

Our Morning Routine

I think I need to change up my morning routine. It seems pretty non-eventful but perhaps that's a good thing? I've been doing about the same thing with Henry every morning... putting a bowl and cereal in front of him, we pour it in the bowl hand-over-hand. Once he decides he wants to eat (sometime that can take a few minutes, depending on how distracted he is) he says "I want the milk", then I pour the milk hand-over-hand. Then he says "I want the spoon" and I give him the spoon. He'll sometimes hand the cereal box to me for a refill, we fill the bowl, he asks for the milk... then we pretty much sit there... Henry will recite some book or television show he watched two years ago mixed with squeals and those other strange noises he comes up with, meanwhile Rose will do whatever she can to get my attention. I've mixing it up a little lately, like when he asks for a spoon, I'll give him a knife, he'll say "no" or I may give him something funny like an ice cream scoop and he'll kinda think it's funny.

The getting dressed part of the morning is always rushed so there hasn't been time for "I'll wait". I think he'd be fine with walking around naked all day so there's absolutely no motivation for him to put on his clothes. If it were freezing, he'd rather find a blanket than put on clothes. He has no concept of embarassment, especially when it comes to being naked. I guess we need to work with him on that. He likes in the "No David!" book where David is walking down the street without his pants but I don't think that translates. He does sometimes want privacy when he's using the bathroom, so I guess that's a good sign, but then again, he's almost always wants privacy.

Guys Weekend

T and Rosie were out of town over the weekend so dad and the Hankster had a weekend chock full o' RDI goodness. Henry's grandparents were also out of town so we took care of their dogs. Because their house is in easy waking distance, this gave us quite a few opportunities to do the "walking" activity. I had not done this one with him before. I thought he did pretty well. I would pace for a while, I would top, then he would stop, I would then take a big, slow step forward and he would mimic me... but not every time. He did look up at me a few times but it seemed that most of the time he was staring at my feet so he could tell when it was time to start walking again. Sometimes he would try to pull me but when he did, I wouldn't move.

Theresa suggested that I implement the walking activity into the activities in his gymnastics class so I did that that went really well. There's one thing they do where they have a multi-colored mat and they're supposed to hop onto each color. We did this together, holding hands, like the walking activity and he totally looked at me for guidance... it was like a video right off the RDI website. He would look, I would nod, we would jump... it was VERY cool. The same thing happened when we emptied the dishwasher later that day. He was a little unsure whether what I handed him to put away was a big fork or small fork and he would look to me to make sure he was putting it in the right place, I would nod or shake my head no. He may have been doing this with his mother so he might have had some practice, but whether he had practice or not, it was still great watching him look to me for guidance.

We also built a mountain with bean bags, I think that was on Saturday. He was actually very excited about doing it this time. I didn't want to push my luck so we did it twice and moved on. I've been doing that activity pretty much the same each time, slowing down the swinging of the bean bag, pausing after the "here we....". I need to think of some ways to change it up.

The Weekend

I did a couple of activities with Henry over the weekend, nothing too exciting. We did the "bean bag mountain" activity Saturday morning. He didn't want to do it initially (shocker) but after 5 minutes of trying to pick him off the floor, he gained some interest and begun to participate. His teachers at school call him "noodle". The name comes from his ability to lose all muscle function when an authority figure is trying to get him to do something he's not wanting to do. Anyway, it seems like he's seeing this whole "going into the activity room" as therapy or a school activity and immediately refuses to participate. Once he decides that this may be something he's interested in, he relents, plays along for 5 or 10 minutes, then proclaimed his classic "okay, no more". Theresa said she could hear me and I was talking too much during the activity so I guess I need to watch that.

Now, I know that I'm supposed to get him to participate, even if he doesn't necessarily want to - but that's easier said than done when it comes to the noodle boy. Even if he's not wanting to do something, I've been working on grabbing his hand or wrist, not taking "no" for an answer. I'm really working hard to take his hand in a nice way... and not being too forceful. I think it's working. So... I have a question - I realize that he will eventually become more and more confident in performing these activities with us and because of that, he will be more motivated to participate -- but what if he is confident performing a particular activity but that activity is just not that interesting to him and that's the reason he's not participating? I guess what I'm trying to get at is, how do we tell the difference? Sometimes that's what I feel is happening though maybe I'm just being impatient.

We did a pretty cool activity outside on Sunday. He helped me pick up the sticks that had fallen off the trees over the winter. We would hold hands, I would motion to a stick on the ground, he would pick up a few sticks, I would pick up a few sticks, then we would walk over to the wheelbarrow, I would say 1, 2, 3, throw and we would throw the sticks in. I would make irregular pauses before the "throw", he would look up at me... it was great. There were a few large branches that we picked up together, walked it over to the wheelbarrow, etc. In between throws, he kept wanting to push the wheelbarrow and I let him... his little reward for participating... hmmm, is that too "ABA"? After 8 or 10 minutes, he was over it, but that was fine... I think it went pretty well.

So Far, So Good

I've been spending my time with Henry this week really trying to get down this whole "RDI Language" thing. Not sure if that's a coined term but that's what I'll use to refer to the no questions, no direct commands, abbreviated, slowed down, and likely something else I forgot type of language.

He's seemed to be reacting positively to our interactions. There are a few times where I get stumped on how to phrase something without making it into a question but I'm getting better as the week progresses. I'm not trying to jump the gun here but he has said a few pretty cool appropriate words/phrases this week... asking is grandma for "chicken" while being driven home from the sitters yesterday afternoon (referring to Popeyes) and this evening, being especially OCD, wanting all the lights in the house off, he said "just turn the lights off". Now I know that there's more to communication that just speech, especially when it's to get ones way but still... pretty cool, I must say. Not sure where this lights off thing is coming from. Maybe Theresa has the kids eat in the dark... I'm not sure. Anyway, like I said... don't want to declare an "RDI miracle" but it's been a while since I've been witness to any even moderately significant language from the kid so I thought I'd make note.

Here are some examples of some RDI-ish things that we're doing in our morning routine:

Breakfast

• instead of "what do you want for breakfast?" it's "I bet you're hungry"... then grabbing the box of raisin bran, getting his attention, and giving him the "how-bout-it eye".
• variations of... pouring the cereal in a bowl and waiting until he catches my eye and says "milk" and "spoon" or just setting the cereal box on the table and I say "we're missing something" and wait until he says "bowl". Sometimes he just gets the bowl or spoon himself without saying anything.
• most of the time I'll do a hand-over-hand when pouring the cereal and milk.

Getting Dressed/Brushing Teeth

• instead of "take your pants off, take your shirt off" I'm making a motion like I'm pulling down my pants, etc.
  
• instead of laying out his clothes, I'm throwing each item at him one at a time.
  
• to get him to brush his teeth, instead of saying "brush teeth" I say, "your teeth are dirty". He hasn't really caught on to that one yet, perhaps this is because he doesn't literally have any dirt in his teeth (as far as I know).
  

In other news, I took Henry to a stock car race on Saturday night at the local track. He LOVED it but was stemming his brains out the whole time and I can see why, because it was very cool. But a this point in the process, I wonder if it's advised to expose him to that much stimulation. Just wondering...