Hi all. We are officially moving our blogging onto the new RDI OS system. In reality, though, we are doing less blogging overall because we now meet with our consultant on a weekly basis - this has been a wonderful change!
However, never fear, we will still be posting our video reviews up on youtube to share with other parents - though there will likely be fewer of those as well. Check out our youtube under the name "fatakw" or type in RDI as a search term and you will find us!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
On Hiatus
In case anyone was wondering where we are, we have been taking a break since late October in light of the arrival of Henry's little bro, Cyrus, and the craziness of the holidays. We hope to be back up to posting and videoing in the new year, as soon as we can find a new RDI consultant to work with - check back later.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
RCR Struggles and interesting thoughts from the webinar
i've been meaning to write all weekend, and now it's wed night and i'm finally getting around to it...aggh, life gets so busy.
I've been working various RCR activities with Henry all weekend and this week. We averaged about 10 a day over the weekend, but probably just two or three per day during the week. they ranged from anything from throwing acorns together to putting the dog treats in the container together. I tried to do the non-verbal inviting thing with many of them to get started, but that didn't really work - henry mostly ignored me until i asked him to come participate.
he would try to participate and he especially likes it when i add in funny sound effects, like a big karate chop "high-ya" and then we throw something somewhere together. however, we're not really getting a rhythm with this at all. he doesn't seem to be able to self regulate so we throw at the same time, and i can't do all the repair work for him. oftentimes i have to revert back to a 1-2-3-throw a few times before he starts to get it, or i do hand over hand a few times. but most of our activities do not last longer than 3-5 minutes, so it seems like he's never really "getting" it. i will keep on plugging away though. any advice?
also, attended the parent webinar last night and Gutstein, as always, had some good advice and stuff to work on. Basically the majority of the hour talked about transfer of responsibility - one of the things i found interesting was Gutstein telling parents to be sure not to allow the kid to take a passive role in the activity (a good example he gave was carrying a bag together, where when the kid lets go, you pick up the slack instead of letting if fall. i do that for sure!) so i'm trying to be mindful of when i might be "scaffolding" too much and allowing henry to take a passive role in our interactions, whatever they may be.
Gutstein also talked about having a short, 1-3 word thought to describe the objective that you are working on and carrying it with you throughout the day, being mindful of incorporating it if you can into every interaction with your kid til it becomes second-nature. My thought for now is "don't talk-use non-verbal"
also, another little anecdote and then i'll wrap up here. henry has discovered where the books are locked up in the "activity room". yesterday he indicated that he wanted to "jump on the bed", which i was psyched about b/c that was an activity that we had done together the previous day with Rosie and had a really good time playing and laughing together. of course, i said, lets go upstairs and jump and he said "no, here"...he wanted to enter the activity room. so i suspected something was up, when i let him in he went straight for the books. then he says "i love books". i said "henry, you told mommy you wanted to jump on the bed" and he attempted one pathetic jump to try to please me and then stared over at the books. i went ahead and let him have his fix, the poor kid. Never let them tell you that an autistic kid can't manipulate or won't lie - he played that one just right!
I've been working various RCR activities with Henry all weekend and this week. We averaged about 10 a day over the weekend, but probably just two or three per day during the week. they ranged from anything from throwing acorns together to putting the dog treats in the container together. I tried to do the non-verbal inviting thing with many of them to get started, but that didn't really work - henry mostly ignored me until i asked him to come participate.
he would try to participate and he especially likes it when i add in funny sound effects, like a big karate chop "high-ya" and then we throw something somewhere together. however, we're not really getting a rhythm with this at all. he doesn't seem to be able to self regulate so we throw at the same time, and i can't do all the repair work for him. oftentimes i have to revert back to a 1-2-3-throw a few times before he starts to get it, or i do hand over hand a few times. but most of our activities do not last longer than 3-5 minutes, so it seems like he's never really "getting" it. i will keep on plugging away though. any advice?
also, attended the parent webinar last night and Gutstein, as always, had some good advice and stuff to work on. Basically the majority of the hour talked about transfer of responsibility - one of the things i found interesting was Gutstein telling parents to be sure not to allow the kid to take a passive role in the activity (a good example he gave was carrying a bag together, where when the kid lets go, you pick up the slack instead of letting if fall. i do that for sure!) so i'm trying to be mindful of when i might be "scaffolding" too much and allowing henry to take a passive role in our interactions, whatever they may be.
Gutstein also talked about having a short, 1-3 word thought to describe the objective that you are working on and carrying it with you throughout the day, being mindful of incorporating it if you can into every interaction with your kid til it becomes second-nature. My thought for now is "don't talk-use non-verbal"
also, another little anecdote and then i'll wrap up here. henry has discovered where the books are locked up in the "activity room". yesterday he indicated that he wanted to "jump on the bed", which i was psyched about b/c that was an activity that we had done together the previous day with Rosie and had a really good time playing and laughing together. of course, i said, lets go upstairs and jump and he said "no, here"...he wanted to enter the activity room. so i suspected something was up, when i let him in he went straight for the books. then he says "i love books". i said "henry, you told mommy you wanted to jump on the bed" and he attempted one pathetic jump to try to please me and then stared over at the books. i went ahead and let him have his fix, the poor kid. Never let them tell you that an autistic kid can't manipulate or won't lie - he played that one just right!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
RCR
I sort of had a light bulb go off the other day when I was giving Henry his daily 'before bed bowl of cereal'. Just as we use an intermediate bowl to allow Henry to make many small dumps when adding ingredients to the mixing bowl, I've begun to do the same thing with his cereal and milk. The first time I did it, he caught on right away. Unlike baking, which we're only able to do once or twice a week, the kid eats several bowl of cereal a day so this should introduce many more occasions for RCR.
Since we have millions of acorns on our property at the moment, I'm going to try to incorporate them in an RCR activity tomorrow. I'll probably just hand him acorns and have him throw them somewhere... we'll see.
Since we have millions of acorns on our property at the moment, I'm going to try to incorporate them in an RCR activity tomorrow. I'll probably just hand him acorns and have him throw them somewhere... we'll see.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Video Review #5
Mom - Non-Verbal
Mom and Henry continue to target Objective 5 use of non-verbals in a few different activities.
Mom - Give/Put
Various RCR activities with Mom and Henry in giver-puter roles.
Dad - Non-Verbal
Like I mentioned in the video, I'm not sure this was a good activity to target objective 5 after all because he's done this so many times and he knows his role pretty well. I just gotta get him to stop tasting the batter!
Dad - Give/Put
In these videos, I'm thought I was doing RCR until I started editing the video and remembered that I'm not supposed to talk for that - but still think this was a productive activity regardless. Another thing I observed was that even though I did all these videos last night in a span of about an hour and a half, I don't think it seemed forced to him. To me, it was a little rushed but the point I'm trying to make is that he seemed to go along with everything without a fight so I guess he was enjoying himself somewhat.
Mom and Henry continue to target Objective 5 use of non-verbals in a few different activities.
Mom - Give/Put
Various RCR activities with Mom and Henry in giver-puter roles.
Dad - Non-Verbal
Like I mentioned in the video, I'm not sure this was a good activity to target objective 5 after all because he's done this so many times and he knows his role pretty well. I just gotta get him to stop tasting the batter!
Dad - Give/Put
In these videos, I'm thought I was doing RCR until I started editing the video and remembered that I'm not supposed to talk for that - but still think this was a productive activity regardless. Another thing I observed was that even though I did all these videos last night in a span of about an hour and a half, I don't think it seemed forced to him. To me, it was a little rushed but the point I'm trying to make is that he seemed to go along with everything without a fight so I guess he was enjoying himself somewhat.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
The weekend and finding fun games
Well, this weekend without the books went really well - despite the added craziness of having houseguests, we were able to do lot of things with Henry. Saturday, we did a lot of time in the yard, playing with balls and on the swing and on the bike. no pressure - we just had fun with it b/c aaron's family was visiting and it was relaxed (no videos to do :). Sunday, Aaron headed up to the dover race with the fam, so i had the kids to myself all day. It went very well. I filmed a few things, which you will see on tues, but mostly it was just Hen, Rose and i hangin out. I got some alone time w/Henry when i took him to gymnastics class - lots of good opportunity for RDI throughout the class....especially use of non-verbals for transitions - like holding my hand out, or using eye gaze on where he should go and what to do next. and he paid attention pretty well.
We also went to the store after the class and he picked out a b-day cake for Poppy (his great grandpa). we went back to my mom's and had an early dinner and the cake for Pop - Hen helped put in the candles and then blow them out - he was a role-player in the whole process, which was great and really made him feel good about himself - he was just extra smiley today and in tune. I think he liked having that alone time with mom - i need to try to schedule that in on a weekly basis if i can - aaron has mentioned he could come home early one night a week - that might work well.
Proximity, patience, and limiting words was my mantra for this weekend and i think it worked well - hen seemed on a much more even keel. i watched the video you sent - actually i had already seen it from the site, but i think it was a great example of setting a welcoming environment - i'm going to have aaron watch it tomorrow.
Oh, so my three activities that i think Henry would enjoy are playing on the musical instruments, anything to do with the swingset and yard (maybe even a Dora the Explorer type scavenger hunt, we were having fun with things like that this weekend.) and building with this magnetic ball erector set. i think as time goes on i'll have more - eliminating the books (or at least limiting the time with them to about 15 min a day, as well as 15 min of computer) has opened up a lot of new options.
We also went to the store after the class and he picked out a b-day cake for Poppy (his great grandpa). we went back to my mom's and had an early dinner and the cake for Pop - Hen helped put in the candles and then blow them out - he was a role-player in the whole process, which was great and really made him feel good about himself - he was just extra smiley today and in tune. I think he liked having that alone time with mom - i need to try to schedule that in on a weekly basis if i can - aaron has mentioned he could come home early one night a week - that might work well.
Proximity, patience, and limiting words was my mantra for this weekend and i think it worked well - hen seemed on a much more even keel. i watched the video you sent - actually i had already seen it from the site, but i think it was a great example of setting a welcoming environment - i'm going to have aaron watch it tomorrow.
Oh, so my three activities that i think Henry would enjoy are playing on the musical instruments, anything to do with the swingset and yard (maybe even a Dora the Explorer type scavenger hunt, we were having fun with things like that this weekend.) and building with this magnetic ball erector set. i think as time goes on i'll have more - eliminating the books (or at least limiting the time with them to about 15 min a day, as well as 15 min of computer) has opened up a lot of new options.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Lots of Interaction tonight
wow...maybe putting away the books was good idea. Henry did really well tonight with no distractions. He actually stayed in the room for a long time with Rosie and me - we sang lots of songs, played musical instruments, played a bit with the plastic food. He didn't do any puzzles. I did give him about 15 minutes of computer time while i made dinner, but otherwise he was very much around. I think this is going to really help us find those "play" type of things we are looking for to incorporate into RDI activities. I'll keep you posted how it goes for the rest of the week.
We put the books away
One of Henry's worst obsessions are his books. When he's in his books, it's difficult to pull him away and it's even more difficult to experience share - so we put them away. He has a couple reserved for bedtime but other than that, he's finding other things to get into. One thing he's picked up again are puzzles. Puzzles were an obsession a year or so ago but has since waned. What I'm finding with the puzzles is that I can give him 1 or 2 pieces at a time (giver-putter exercise) and he lets me help him put the puzzle together (experience sharing). We'll see how long this last but we're happy to see something positive come out of this so soon.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Playtime!
well, like we spoke about on the phone, i spent most of the weekend and today seeking out and testing some fun play activities to do with henry so that the majority of our RDI work doesn't involve housework - poor kid, he was working harder than any five year old i know doing laundry, dishes, cooking and watering plants. ha! however, it has been difficult to find play activities as you know that he likes and that i can involve myself in...especially since the majority of his favorite pastimes, like reading and playing on the computer, are such solo activities. As i mentioned on the phone, i've tried to insert myself into a few of his favorite computer games and that seems to be working well....except that they can be very distracting so it's hard to get him to reference me. we also did some hanging out in the bean bag room, but my creativity was pretty low during that time so we ended up just hanging.
tonight, i scored bigtime by starting up a quick game of hide and seek (really i was trying to get hank and rosie to hold off on wanting dinner til 5, so i had 1/2 hr to kill). The game was basic in that i would go hide while they counted to ten, then i would periodically say "where's mommy?" until they started to determine which room i was in and where i was. I really couldn't believe that henry played along like he did - i think i hid like 6-7 different times and there was a lot of great "anticipation" and emotion-sharing in the game - and of course big tickles when they found me. hen was even able to wait and count to ten to give me a chance to hide - i hate to say but i think he and rosie are about on the same level with this game. interestingly enough, the game ended when rosie found me before he did....he didn't like that one bit!
as i mentioned, i did a bit of taping this weekend working on objectives 5 and 6. tonight, after rosie went to bed (and b/c my throat is sore) i decided to do the mommy's lost her voice game. we didn't have a lot of activities that we HAD to do - just to brush teeth, put on pjs, click off the light, etc...but i was able to get a lot of non-verbal back and forth with henry to do them. he also read ME a story before bed...and would check in with me as the story progressed to occasionally see my response to something or an indication that he was on the right track....it's amazing when you shut up what happens! one interesting note on that though is how henry would be able to say some of the story verbatim and then other parts he would just fill in with blahblahblah...i wonder if that's what he's unable to process when i read the story to him??? weird.
we got the RCR stuff and i'll probably read through it tonight. yesterday i finally applied for that scholarship you gave us the info on, so we'll see where that goes. i'll let you know.
tonight, i scored bigtime by starting up a quick game of hide and seek (really i was trying to get hank and rosie to hold off on wanting dinner til 5, so i had 1/2 hr to kill). The game was basic in that i would go hide while they counted to ten, then i would periodically say "where's mommy?" until they started to determine which room i was in and where i was. I really couldn't believe that henry played along like he did - i think i hid like 6-7 different times and there was a lot of great "anticipation" and emotion-sharing in the game - and of course big tickles when they found me. hen was even able to wait and count to ten to give me a chance to hide - i hate to say but i think he and rosie are about on the same level with this game. interestingly enough, the game ended when rosie found me before he did....he didn't like that one bit!
as i mentioned, i did a bit of taping this weekend working on objectives 5 and 6. tonight, after rosie went to bed (and b/c my throat is sore) i decided to do the mommy's lost her voice game. we didn't have a lot of activities that we HAD to do - just to brush teeth, put on pjs, click off the light, etc...but i was able to get a lot of non-verbal back and forth with henry to do them. he also read ME a story before bed...and would check in with me as the story progressed to occasionally see my response to something or an indication that he was on the right track....it's amazing when you shut up what happens! one interesting note on that though is how henry would be able to say some of the story verbatim and then other parts he would just fill in with blahblahblah...i wonder if that's what he's unable to process when i read the story to him??? weird.
we got the RCR stuff and i'll probably read through it tonight. yesterday i finally applied for that scholarship you gave us the info on, so we'll see where that goes. i'll let you know.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Video Review #4
Hangin with Dad - Part 1
Hangin with Dad - Part 2
Pouring Activity
Handholding Activity
Hangin with Dad - Part 2
Pouring Activity
Handholding Activity
Aaron's Notes - 8/29
For the past 3 mornings, I've been trying to get Henry to eat cereal with me - like we've done in the past chanting "scoop, ahhh-ummmm" but he doesn't seem to want to go along with me. Either he doesn't want me interfering with his food consumption or I'm going at it all wrong and I think its the latter. I know were not working specifically on coregulation at the moment but what can I do to make this go a little better?
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Aaron's Notes - 8/26
Lets see... thursday and friday we taped on objective 4. That went okay, I guess we'll see it come video review time.
Saturday, we I don't recall doing any formal activities with Henry. We did throw the football a little which he usually hates doing, actually any back and forth, so that was pretty cool.
Today (sunday) we did a couple formal activities and some ran around town a bit. The first activity we did which was kinda cool was ripping off he wall paper in the hall bathroom. I was asking T if she could think of any activities I could do with Henry and she suggested that since it was something I wanted to get done today. Anyway, the wallpaper was really old and coming off the wall on the edges. I showed Henry that he could rip it off the wall and he continued to do so. Then we stuffed it in a trash bag. We would trade off holding the bag while the other would stuff the paper in. We followed this pattern until most of the paper was off the well. Later, we emptied the dishwasher. While he was looking at books throughout the day, I tried to spend some time by his side, not disrupting him but just showing him that I was there. I guess I did poke and tickle him here and there - can't help it. Later in the day, we went to the pet store and home depot. Even though he said he didn't want to go (but I drug him out anyway) he enjoyed the pet store and had no qualms running to home depot. I guess he's used to it by now.
The thing I'm taking from activity 4 is that in whatever we do, I make sure to keep things positive and make it known to Henry that he's doing a good job whether it's by complimenting him, smiling, or focusing on what he's doing right as opposed to what he's doing wrong.
Saturday, we I don't recall doing any formal activities with Henry. We did throw the football a little which he usually hates doing, actually any back and forth, so that was pretty cool.
Today (sunday) we did a couple formal activities and some ran around town a bit. The first activity we did which was kinda cool was ripping off he wall paper in the hall bathroom. I was asking T if she could think of any activities I could do with Henry and she suggested that since it was something I wanted to get done today. Anyway, the wallpaper was really old and coming off the wall on the edges. I showed Henry that he could rip it off the wall and he continued to do so. Then we stuffed it in a trash bag. We would trade off holding the bag while the other would stuff the paper in. We followed this pattern until most of the paper was off the well. Later, we emptied the dishwasher. While he was looking at books throughout the day, I tried to spend some time by his side, not disrupting him but just showing him that I was there. I guess I did poke and tickle him here and there - can't help it. Later in the day, we went to the pet store and home depot. Even though he said he didn't want to go (but I drug him out anyway) he enjoyed the pet store and had no qualms running to home depot. I guess he's used to it by now.
The thing I'm taking from activity 4 is that in whatever we do, I make sure to keep things positive and make it known to Henry that he's doing a good job whether it's by complimenting him, smiling, or focusing on what he's doing right as opposed to what he's doing wrong.
a discouraging weekend
oh well...i guess we all have 'em, but this weekend was a hard one with Henry. Not that he was doing anything other than normal, but it's just getting so frustrating watching him spend every free second of his time either stimming out on books or asking to use the computer - anything to avoid interaction with us. especially now that we understand what a form of "escape" it is and how he is doing these things to feel "ok" - why can't he feel ok with us??
in terms of activities, this weekend wasn't so bad. Sat. morning i took Henry to get some paint for the bathroom renovation. i thought he would like to see how they blend the colors and mix the can...unfortunately it wasn't as visible as i'd hoped it'd be. however, we did use the outing for a lot of RDI-like activities - experience sharing, he helped me carry the paint can (we did it together) etc. And I involved him in all the regular weekend activities like laundry and dishes etc. We even played in the pool a bit outside in the front yard and did a game with pouring.
however, i just get so frustrated sometimes. it seems like we're working so hard with him and just making these baby steps. at times, aaron and i just want to box up all his books and unplug the computer and eliminate all his ability to stim and avoid us. but i know that's not only cruel b/c he needs these things to feel ok (for now) but also, he would probably just find some other more inappropriate thing to get lost in. every time i go down this track i feel bad, b/c as hard as it is for us, it's probably about 10x harder for Henry. i mean, it took the poor kid about 15 minutes to try to tell me he wanted to go to the library on friday...and he was so happy when i finally understood him - it literally made his day.
so, sunday i spent most of the day painting, which i couldn't really involve Henry in, so Aaron took the lead for most of the day. we did a few small things together, like walk down to grandmas and drive to aunt shanons together - but not much for formal activities, i was just not into it. anyway, i'm sure tomorrow will bring a new day and a better attitude....and i hope that soon we will see those changes in Henry that will help us (and him) stay motivated to work hard and know that we are doing the right thing here.
in terms of activities, this weekend wasn't so bad. Sat. morning i took Henry to get some paint for the bathroom renovation. i thought he would like to see how they blend the colors and mix the can...unfortunately it wasn't as visible as i'd hoped it'd be. however, we did use the outing for a lot of RDI-like activities - experience sharing, he helped me carry the paint can (we did it together) etc. And I involved him in all the regular weekend activities like laundry and dishes etc. We even played in the pool a bit outside in the front yard and did a game with pouring.
however, i just get so frustrated sometimes. it seems like we're working so hard with him and just making these baby steps. at times, aaron and i just want to box up all his books and unplug the computer and eliminate all his ability to stim and avoid us. but i know that's not only cruel b/c he needs these things to feel ok (for now) but also, he would probably just find some other more inappropriate thing to get lost in. every time i go down this track i feel bad, b/c as hard as it is for us, it's probably about 10x harder for Henry. i mean, it took the poor kid about 15 minutes to try to tell me he wanted to go to the library on friday...and he was so happy when i finally understood him - it literally made his day.
so, sunday i spent most of the day painting, which i couldn't really involve Henry in, so Aaron took the lead for most of the day. we did a few small things together, like walk down to grandmas and drive to aunt shanons together - but not much for formal activities, i was just not into it. anyway, i'm sure tomorrow will bring a new day and a better attitude....and i hope that soon we will see those changes in Henry that will help us (and him) stay motivated to work hard and know that we are doing the right thing here.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The First Webinar
Hi Missy - just wanted to let you know we were able to sign on to Gutstein's webinar last night, and i even asked a question! they were definitely still working out the kinks of the system, but i think it should be a good resource for parent training in the future. Dr. G provided us all with an "abridged" version of all the parent goals, so i was able to look through them a bit (not completely though)...i guess we have a long way to go still in our training...let alone Henry's.
In other news, had a nice evening with Henry tonight. For our lab time, we did an activity around the laundry...something really simple and short.....where he helps me put the wash in the washing machine, and we pour the detergent together - he holds the cup, i pour in the cup, and then he pours in the machine...and then he helps me put the clothes in - i hand him the clothes and he dumps em in. he seems to really like this, but i'm going to have to get creative with inserting productive uncertainty.
also, we all had a dance 1/2 hour before bed tonight, where we play music and jump and dance on the bed together...me, hank and rose. it's really fun and henry even made a request for a song he likes. i haven't really incorporated any RDI into that activity yet, but i bet i could - maybe Obj 3...i didn't even think of it! ok, signing off for now.
In other news, had a nice evening with Henry tonight. For our lab time, we did an activity around the laundry...something really simple and short.....where he helps me put the wash in the washing machine, and we pour the detergent together - he holds the cup, i pour in the cup, and then he pours in the machine...and then he helps me put the clothes in - i hand him the clothes and he dumps em in. he seems to really like this, but i'm going to have to get creative with inserting productive uncertainty.
also, we all had a dance 1/2 hour before bed tonight, where we play music and jump and dance on the bed together...me, hank and rose. it's really fun and henry even made a request for a song he likes. i haven't really incorporated any RDI into that activity yet, but i bet i could - maybe Obj 3...i didn't even think of it! ok, signing off for now.
Aaron's Notes - 8/22
Henry and I worked on objective 4 this morning. I think I got it. We hung out for maybe 4-5 minutes in the activity room. We started out on chairs. Henry immediately pointed out something he wanted on the shelf (i think it was one of his cds) and I just shook my head 'no' and did my best to keep smiling. He eventually gave up on asking and got up and laid down on the bean bags. I followed him over and laid down. He played with my fingers for a little while, but not wanting him to use me as a tool, I would put his hand back toward him, doing my best to maintain a smile. Later, he went to pinch me and said 'don't pinch' and I nodded and place his hands back to him. I think he was trying to connect with me with the pinching - because that's something he knows I'm familiar with him doing. Otherwise, he didn't really make any other eye contact but he knew I was there. After about 5 minutes, I got up and he followed me out. I'll try again tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Aaron's Notes - 8/20
On Sunday we had some time together and I tried objective 4 again. We were on the couch, the tv was off and Henry pretty much just wallowed me to death - rolling around on me, playing with my face, but I put no demands on him. At one point, I played dead for a long time. He continued to roll around on me for the first couple minutes but eventually he grabbed my face then tried to open my eyes with his fingers. I took this as a positive. At least he noticed and, as far as I could tell, wanted me to be alive around him.
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